Give Me Back the Years
by anatjej
Summary: Kendall has been going to the same summer camp every year since he was six, and he has always had a hard time having fun there. Can all of this change in one summer? Can James Diamond really show Kendall what it means to be accepted? And can they find love on the way?Contains some rude language, a bit of smut, and also vague drug use
1. Chapter 1

******A/N: Hi guys! My name is Anaïs and this is my first fic ever. I really didn't expect it to be Kames eaither. In this fic you'll notice that Katie is Kendalls cousin instead of sister and she is also five years older. Please don't hate me for it. It just... had to happen, for the sake of the story. Um... I haven't decided if I want to dedicate it to anyone special yet so for the time being this can be for all those amazing writers here on who have inspired me to write this. So, Clarry, this is mainly for you! Anyway, please review and, most importantly, ENJOY! :D**

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**Give Me Back the Years**

Kendall sighed when he took out the stuffed bear from the bottom of his closet. He straightened up from his crouch, walking over to his bed and playing with the small sign the teddy bear held.

_Camp Armstrong – For Making Memories!_

Kendall had been going to the same summer camp for more than half his life. He first been sent there when he was very young: too young, according to him. He had been only six when he first went there. For three whole months he had been away, away from his parents, his home and everything familiar in his life. He remembered feeling so lost, so hopeless surrounded by all those older children, abandoned by his parents. He still felt this way on the first day of camp, no matter how old he was.

The reason he was sent away for so long was because his parents were archeologists. Every year they would leave for Turkey to dig up the remains of some long-dead tribe for four whole months at a time. The month that they were away when Kendall still had school Kendall was forced to live with a family friend; Mrs. Brown, a woman who ate cabbage every day and was pretty much away with the fairies. The rest of the year they were back home in Minnesota with their son and Kendall's older cousin, Katie.

Mr. and Mrs. Knight were professors of archeology and anthropology at the local college, and Katie was studying all the subjects they taught, making it the perfect situation for the broke student. Living with the Knight's she had all the pro's of living with people who cooked and cleaned for her without the con's of having parents constantly in her business. Kendall knew this and Katie knew he did, but his parents were generous and kind-hearted people who didn't always realize she took advantage of them.

Despite that, Kendall still loved her like a sister. Growing up, their two family's had spent all long weekends and vacations with each other, making it easy for the two single children to become close.

When Katie was fifteen and Kendall was ten Katie's parents decided that she was indoors far too much and needed a breath of fresh air - a break from "the hustle and bustle of LA" ,they had said. Back in Los Angeles she had become an antisocial and rebellious teenager, venting her anger on the internet. Though she had been reluctant to admit that her parents had been right; the camp had changed her whole behavior, just maybe not in the way her parents had expected. The next three years she was the queen of Camp Armstrong. It was easy for Katie- a wild-child- to become popular at the wholesome camp for good little boys and girls. She became this different, unique person there and by the middle of her second summer she had already quit being an EMO and slept with the counselor of the camp, the man all of the girls- and even a few boys- had been drooling over since he started working there one year previous. After growing out her fringe into fashionable bangs and washing the awful, dirt colored dye out of her hair everyone realized she was actually outstandingly beautiful, to the point that even the untouchable counselor fell for her, quitting his job so they could be together. The fact that she dumped him also made her that much more of a mystery to all the camp kids. She loved all the attention that being the queen bee brought her, and using her almost manipulating smarts she succeeded in becoming popular in her home town as well, making it possible to be the center of attention all year long. To this very day campers still told story's of her wild adventures during the three years she "ruled".

Kendall would be eternally grateful to his cousin. Without her he would still be a social outcast, doomed to spend the rest of his summers in his one-person cabin (he had started requesting them after he was put in the same cabin as George "bed wetter" Davis, who unfortunately had the bunk above Kendall's when they were eight.) Being the famous Kate "jailbait" Johnson's cousin he also started being noticed a bit more, leading him to becoming best friends with Logan and Carlos.

The two little troublemakers were ten when they were caught spying on Katie through the keyhole on her bunk door. She had been changing into a daring outfit of daisy dukes and a top (a top which was more like a flowery bra which went down to just above her belly button) for a night of fun with all the coolest, oldest kids at the camp.

What they hadn't known was that Kendall was sitting on the bed, talking animatedly to his cousin about the fact that Katie's mother would soon be picking him up to go to get his god-awful braces removed. He had gotten them during his second summer at Armstrong's, the same year children his own age really started arriving. The unfortunate braces had given him a lisp, and when he was hiding in his room, practicing speaking and trying to get it away he had developed a love for books. This meant that when he was ready to start going outside again he had become pale from the lack of sunlight, was always seen with a big book and, to top it all off, had big braces which gave him a lisp. All this made him the perfect target for bullying.

That summer was not his best.

Anyway, back to the story.

So, the terrible duo of Logan and Carlos were taking turns at the keyhole, staring at this beautiful alien creature's large and shapely chest when Kendall realized the older teen had stopped listening to his rambling and that he had no other reason to be there. Getting up he said:

"Stho… have a nisthe night, Katie" in a very disappointed, lisp ridden tone of voice.

"Thanks, Kenny-babe! I'll see you tomorrow." Katie had said, adding a second layer of mascara, not even looking his way.

Kendall had been insulted that she didn't even care enough to listen to this story about an important part of his life when he had spent the whole afternoon watching her getting ready and patiently listening to her talking about "this beautiful, godlike man called Mr. C" and how she was going to "get him tonight". He was so upset by his favorite cousin's behavior that he didn't see the two boys lurking outside the door until he had jerked the door open, effectively sending them sprawling across the porch. They had begged him not to tell anyone, and seeing that Kendall wasn't a snitch who would rat them out and not a bully who would beat them up for spying they quickly took a shine to the blond boy with big braces.

Kendall had been suspicious when they had first asked him to go play with them but he eventually understood that their motives were pure and Kendall soon learned what it meant to have friends.

Back on the edge of his bed back home Kendall thinks about how it's strange that he is so grateful to Katie. The only thing she did for him there was be related to him, which wasn't even her choice. In fact, the first year she was there she was even a bit annoyed that Kendall was always there to cramp her style.

After a moment of indecision he put his lucky charm (the bear) in the big duffel bag he was packing. It was his last summer at camp, and he was determined to make it the best summer anyone has ever had at Camp Armstrong.

As soon as he found out that his parents' project would be over next year he knew that he had to do something to make these next few months memorable. The project in Turkey coming to a close meant that his parents wouldn't want to spend money on the camp anymore. Kendall had never enjoyed it that much, but now, when the time was fast approaching when he wouldn't be able to go there anymore, he had panicked. He hadn't paid attention to how much it meant to him until it was almost gone, and he hadn't even done half the things that you're supposed to have done at the camp as a kid.

He had never been to a party. He had been invited to them once or twice, sure, but he knew that the other kids would just look at him and remember that pimply kid who had braces for three years straight and whose clothes all smelt like cabbage after being sprayed with Mrs. Brown's perfume by accident the day before leaving for camp one year.

He hadn't joined in the annual freshman's raid of the kitchen. All the kids who were over fifteen at Camp Armstrong were given special privileges and one year (Katie's first year, it had been her idea) they had organized a drunken midnight raid on all the deserts and bottles of cooking sherry in the kitchen pantry.

Through the use of a convenient picture of the head of the kitchen facilities in a compromising position Katie had successfully blackmailed him into letting them all off the hook, and it had soon become a tradition for the fifteen-year-olds at the lake camp.

Kendall had been ill that week and even if hadn't been he was sure that he wouldn't have been invited anyway. His only friends were Logan and Carlos and they didn't have any friends either.

He had never been to the end of summer bonfire rave, either. It was another tradition at the camp for all the older children to throw a positively crazy party with a bonfire and lots of bedding from different cabins around it. It was most common to have random scratchy blankets to sit on nearest the bonfire and the softer ones with the addition of pillows slightly further back. Though it wasn't obvious at first there were also mattresses hidden haphazardly behind trees for any couple with a reason to look for them.

Kendall had actually been invited to that specific occasion when he was fourteen. Jo Taylor had come up to him during the nature hike to ask if he was going. Answering truthfully he said that didn't know. She had proceeded to ask if he would like to. He'd said yes, of course, but he knew that . People only talked to him at camp out of pity, what other reasons could they have?

This was why this summer was special. He needed to live a little. He wanted to feel _alive_, no matter how clichéd that sounded. He needed some summer fun.

And he was going to get it.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, I realized after posting yesterday that I'd forgotten to mention that Big Time Rush obviously isn't mine. Most of the characters aren't mine either (unfortunately, haha).**

**There's a lot of dialogue in this chapter, and since that's my favorite part to write this is also my favorite chapter. ****I also noticed that I write "..." and sounds like "uh", "uhmm" and "eek" quite a lot. If you think it's too much please tell me. I like to use them to accentuate an awkward situation, of which there are many in this chapter. I tried to edit some of them out but it didn't seem to always work...**

**I got my first review yesterday! It made me so so so so so so so happy but unfortunately that awesome person didn't have an account so I don't know who it is. But whoever you are (you know who you are) thank you!**

**Review, pleaaaaase ^^ but most importantly; ENJOY!**

Chapter two

"Is this where I sign my little Kenny up for camp, dear?" Mrs. Brown asked the confused looking girl sitting by the desk with a sign that read _Welcome to Camp Armstrong! _in big letters.

"I'm sorry but there must be a misunderstanding, I'm just on the welcoming committee. And you're supposed to sign up online, and pay online. Maybe you should ask at the information desk in building five about-" the girl was cut off by Kendall coming to take Mrs. Brown by the arm and steer her away from the rambling girl.

"Sorry, ma'am" he calls over his shoulder.

Turning back to the lady walking beside him he wonders if it's really worth his parents sending him to live with her when he is practically taking care of her, not the other way round.

"Mrs. Brown, I signed up on your computer last month, don't you remember?" he asked, "This happened last year too, and the year before that. We always sign up online, okay?"

Mrs. Brown now remembered that the camp went digital a long time ago, apologizing to no-one in particular. As Kendall led the poor woman to Administration in building five he tries not to concentrate on the groups of kids around him, squealing and hugging with the joy of being re-united with old friends from previous summers. His two best friends never arrived before the second month; their family's always went to visit relatives in that time, no matter how much James and Carlos begged.

"Welcome to Camp Armstrong, do you have your papers, Sir?" The woman behind the desk in admin smiles warmly at Kendall, "welcome back to another summer, Kendall. I was so pleased when I read that you would be joining me in our music workshops this year."

"Thanks, Kelly! And here are my papers…" Kendall trailed off, digging through his bag, "Here they are!" he exclaimed, passing the admission form along with the lake pass his parents signed for him before.

"How have you been, Kendall?" Kelly asked in a motherly fashion, scanning the bar codes on the wrinkly paper the blond boy had given her.

"Well, uh... fine, thank you. How about you? Is Gustavo setting up the canoes?" Gustavo owned the whole camp, but Kelly was basically the one running it. The only thing she could convince him to do was set up the canoe-rental by the river running from the lake.

"Yes, he's probably yelling at that poor woman who works there right now. Also, I've been fine, thank you, dear."

Unlike when Mrs. Brown said it, Kendall didn't mind when Kelly called him "dear", because she had always felt like a second mother to him, and he knew she meant it.

"Great! I'll leave you to the other kids now. But first, can you tell me where my cabin is please? Pretty please?" Kendall couldn't be bothered to walk Mrs. Brown down to building two just to get the number of his cabin when he knew that Kelly had it right in front of her on her computer screen.

"Fine..." she mutters, seeing those puppy dog eyes n Kendall that someone has yet to cave for. "No more special privileges after this" Kelly sighed, handing him his newly laminated lake and cabin pass.

"Your cabin is number 16, on Bear Trail" The dark-haired woman starts scanning the papers of the next person in line, a little girl with a Camp Armstrong Tee on under her coat.

"Wait, Kelly, there has to been some mistake, I specifically asked for a single cabin." Kendall stated incredulously, not believing the text on his cabin pass.

"There's no mistake, Kendall. There were just too many kids for anyone but the special ed. kids to have single cabins this year. I'm sorry. I don't know about the boys but I heard that a few of the younger staff even had to room with campers" Kelly replied, motioning for him to get out of the way with a wave of her hand so that she could talk to the little girl's parents about how the cabin passes worked.

"Can you at least tell me who my roommate is?" Kendall asked, bracing himself for the worst.

Kelly just chuckled

"You know I can't tell you that! Everyone meets their roommate when they reach their cabin, just like every other year. It's part of the camp mentality."

Kendall made a frustrated sound in the back of his throat.

"Please, Kelly! _Please_! I have to know!"

Mrs. Brown was standing behind the blond boy, growing agitated at the raising of voices.

"No! I've said no, and I mean no, okay?"

" But, Kelly! I just… Please? I'll help out in the kitchen, I'll be on cleaning duty for a week, I'll even help out with the kids activities, I'll-"

"Oooh, may I take you up on that last offer?" A male voice interrupted from beside Kendall. Kendall jumped in surprise, whirling to face the thing- the _man -_ that had scared him.

"W-what?" was the only thing Kendall was able to utter. In front of him stood the most gorgeous man Kendall had ever seen. He had beautiful hazel eyes that matched his light brown hair perfectly, and perfectly smooth, tanned skin that was very visible thanks to his attire. The man was wearing a tank top and jeans that showed off a body type that was obviously achieved by several hours in a gym. And those _muscles, _Kendall knew exactly what to to if he ever had a chance to feel one of those-

"Kendall?" Kelly asked, breaking his mental ramblings and making him notice this beautiful creature's outstretched hand.

"As I was saying, this is James Diamond. He's the new head of junior activities." Kelly said, glaring at Kendall for being so rude.

Kendall quickly stretched out his hand to take the man's – James' – hand, releasing it quickly.

All thoughts of his roommate gone, he could only think of how awkward he was being. He was pretty sure he had been gawking at the handsome man before him.

"H-hi. I'm K-Kendall."

Oh, god. Why did he have to stutter? It was like he couldn't even remember his own name, for Christ's sake.

"It's nice to meet you. And you too, Mrs..?" Mr. Diamond said, smiling slightly at Kendall's awkwardness before turning to Mrs. Brown, raising an eyebrow- a _sexy_ eyebrow - questioningly.

"Brown, but you can call me Minerva, young man." The old woman said, shaking the man's hand a tad more excitedly than Kendall had. The boy couldn't help but be embarrassed once again. It was just so obvious that she was flustered by this handsome man's attention. And she was, like, seventy.

"I'm going to go to my cabin now!" Kendall said hurriedly, "Um, bye Kelly! B—bye Ja- Mr. Diamond!" face a nice shade of tomato he rushed Mrs. Brown back to her car. He gave her a swift hug he urged her closer to the door, but Mrs. Brown had something to say first.

"Well, that was a handsome young man, why didn't you let him take you up on that last offer? He certainly had eyes for you, that's for sure…"

"What? No! N-no. He couldn't have, that's ridiculous, isn't it? Haha, silly you…" Kendall rambled, urging her into the car. The old lady was probably imagining things. But Kendall couldn't help but remember that slight twinkle in James' eyes when he saw him.

"…did he really notice me?" Kendall asked with a shy smile.

"Oh, yes, dear, that was obvious to everyone. Didn't you notice?"

"Well… It doesn't matter. He works here, nothing can happen between us. Not that he would want anything to. Or me. Or, wait, I mean, nothing _could _happen anyway, umm… Yeah." He trailed off awkwardly, as usual.

Mrs. Brown just laughed.

"Goodbye, Kendall. Have a nice summer!" She said, getting in the car.

"Bye! You too!" Kendall called after her.

Sighing, he trudged back to the admin building. He had been in such a hurry to get away from the awkward situation in there that he had forgotten his bag. Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid-

"Eeek!"

"Woah, are you okay?"

Kendall got up, rubbing the spot where his ass had hit the ground. Some idiot had walked right into him with a pointy object or something.

"Shit. Yeah, I'm fine, thanks…"

Wait. That voice!

"Mr. Diamond?" Kendall asked, finally looking up from his dusty jeans.

"That's me." James grinned, "I'm sorry for knocking into you. I saw you forgot your bags, so I came to give them to you. You were looking for them, I presume?"

"Uh… yeah. Thanks." Kendall let a tentative smile play out on his features.

"No problem. Which trail are you living on? It's probably on the way to the staff trail. Most of the boys' trail's are."

Kendall's hand went into his back pocket, retrieving the paper with his new address on it.

"I-I'm on Bear Trail, section 10-20."

Kendall still wasn't used to the male Adonis speaking to him, paying attention to him.

"Let me just check which cabin I'm in." James said, pulling out his own pass.

"Wow! I'm on Bear Trail too! Come on, we can walk there together."

The younger of the two nodded dumbly.

Oh, my god. Was this actually happening to him? Was this a dream? Or was the stunning beauty walking beside him for real? Kendall couldn't help imagining what he would do if he and Mr. Diamond were the same age… in a cabin together… his inappropriate thoughts were interrupted by James' sweet voice beside him. Realizing he had missed something, he quickly apologized.

"Sorry, what did you say?"

James repeated himself for the boy.

"Y-yeah. I've been going here since I was six, so I've been going here for quite long, I guess. How about you? Well, um, you seem pretty comfortable with these trails, but I don't remember seeing you around."

_And if I had, I would most definitely remember you_, Kendall thought.

"Excuse me?"

Kendall stopped in his tracks.

"D-did I say that out loud?" he asked, mortified.

James had an amused smile on his face.

"I believe you did." He said calmly.

"Oh, God. Um. I'm so sorry." Kendall was sure he was beet red again. Damn. Just when he had started to become capable of participating in a normal conversation, his stupid brain just had to mess up.

"I'll- I'll just walk on my own. I'm s-sorry." Kendall repeated, walking faster to escape from yet another awkward situation. Why did he have to act like such a pre-teen girl all the time?

"No! Kendall, wait! I don't mind, I swear!" James called after him.

Kendall slowed down slightly, still not completely believing him.

"In fact… I would have remembered you too."

Wait, what? Kendall stopped and turned slowly on his heels. James was still hurrying to catch up to him, biting his lip in a way that affected Kendall more than he would like to admit.

"You're just saying that." The blond said.

"No. It's true. I shouldn't say it… but it is true." Mr. Diamond finally caught up to him. "Now, can we pretend I didn't just admit to something that could get me fired and continue walking? Bear Trail section 10-20 is just down there." James pointed to a small path leading away from the main trail one they were on.

Kendall started walking, slowly this time.

James thought he was attractive? Enough so that he would have remembered Kendall had they met before? Kendall's head was reeling.

"Well, here's my cabin. I hope I'll see you at an activity."

Kendall snapped out of his trance.

"Wha- Uh, yeah, I might go to an activity. Bye, M-Mr. Diamond."

The man laughed as he stepped onto the porch of his cabin, unlocking the door as he talked.

"Please, call me James. I'm only two years older than you!" James laughed but then frowned again "You are sixteen, right?" he asked.

"Y-yes. I'm actually turning seventeen in less than a month"

"Really? We'll have to uh… celebrate, then."

Kendall almost missed the suggestive tone in the sentence, but by the time he had done a wide eyed double-take James had already disappeared into the cabin.

Shaking his head, he continued down the dirt path.

He looked up at the rows upon rows of log cabins. They looked like they had been very expensive to build, but in actuality Camp Armstrong was originally a camp for mentally handicapped men in the 1940's, and a good way to occupy them was to let them build the cabins for the fast-growing camp.

Kendall slowed down. Had he already passed his cabin? He was standing by the front steps of cabin number 27, and he specifically remembered reading that his cabin was number sixteen. He trudged back down the path, dragging his vans behind him and hoping that James wouldn't see him if he passed his cabin again.

"Number 19, number 18, number 17…" Kendall muttered to himself, looking for the right cabin. Aha! There was number 16. Kendall started walking up the stairs when he saw a figure moving through the window, behind the gauzy curtain.

It was a silhouette of someone taking their shirt off.

_My roommate must already have arrived,_ Kendall thought, proceeding to knock on the heavy wooden door.

Boy, what a shock he got when he saw a half-shirtless James standing by the door. Kendall quickly realized that this was the same cabin the older boy had entered earlier, and that the thing Kelly had mentioned about sharing cabins with staff had been applied for the boys too.

James finally managed to pull the t-shirt he was struggling with down over his head and saw a surprised Kendall before him.

"Did you forget something?" James asked, confused as to why the boy with the seemingly permanent red face was standing in front of him was knocking on his cabin door only moments after saying goodbye.

"N-no. I think this is my cabin." Kendall stuttered.

"Uh… no. This is a staff cabin."

James frowned.

Instead of replying Kendall simply took out his cabin pass once again, showing James the address on the back.

"Bear Trail, cabin sixteen, Woodland Grove, Minnesota." James read out loud.

"That's weird. I never heard of campers sharing cabins with staff. This is definitely my cabin, by the way." James ensured, showing Kendall his own pass with the same address.

"Yeah. Actually, Kelly mentioned that there were some girls who had to share with staff because of there being too many campers this year. There has to be one member of staff on every trail, and I guess that's you."

Kendall shrugged, looking at the ground.

"Well then. Come on in." James opened the door wide, stepping aside to make room for Kendall and his big duffel bag. He bowed down low, sweeping his arm out to the side in a dramatic welcoming motion.

"Welcome to your palace, your highness." He joked in a mock posh accent.

Kendall laughed as he stepped into the little structure, throwing his stuff on the bed that wasn't taken. James' sentence was as ironic as it could be. The outside of the cabins were a lovely sight, but they hadn't put half as much effort in on the inside, as it was never visible in the brochures. Kendall frowned in disgust as he spotted a patch of mildew on the ceiling.

"Don't look so grossed out about sharing a cabin with me!" James exclaimed as he saw the displeased face of his new cabinmate, "I'm not going to be a joy-kill and stop you from going out or breaking the rules, I swear."

"No, no, that's not it, I don't mind sharing with you I promise. And it would probably be the opposite. I don't go out much." Kendall assured.

"Don't go out _much?_ Like, how much is 'not much'?" James asked, "You don't seem like the type of guy to stay inside reading. Not that it's a bad thing to read stuff, or anything."

Kendall blushed for the millionth time that day. Honestly, didn't his blood understand that he didn't want it there already?

"Well… I kind of am that type of guy." Kendall admitted, putting his three beanies in a draw of the dresser with the rest of the things he was unpacking.

"In fact, I've- I've never been to a party." Kendall couldn't believe that he had admitted that embarrassing fact to a pretty boy he hardly even knew.

He turned around to see James sprawled out on his bed, propped up on his elbows to look at the blond in surprise.

"Dude, really?"

Kendall nodded, noting how James had started to seem more like a boy nearer his own age rather than the man his body made him appear to be. He was only eighteen, after all. It shouldn't be surprising that he spoke like a teenager.

"Yeah… I just never got around to it, I guess."

James nodded back.

"So… I assume you've never gotten drunk, either?" James said.

"Nope." Kendall said, popping the 'P'.

"Well that's gonna have to change."

Kendall's face morphed into an expression of surprise. He must have misunderstood. Surely James wouldn't risk being fired just to help Kendall.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I mean," James said, walking over to the dresser on his side of the room and retrieving a bottle, "That we're going to have to get you drunk, buddy."

"N-now?" There was the inevitable stutter again, but whether it was because of the oddly threatening bottle of Jack Daniels or because of the way James had called him "buddy", he wasn't sure.

"No, not right now, silly!" James laughed, "At the early summer beach party, obviously!"

"Oh, okay." Kendall paused. "actually, I've never heard of that party."

"Good!"

The blond looked at James in confusion.

"It's a secret party held on the opposite side of the lake. Only the oldest campers and youngest members of staff are supposed to know about it, so if you show up you'll make a bunch of friends in no time!"

Kendall wasn't sure about that.

"It's, uh, really nice of you to offer, but no thanks."

James made a small noise of disappointment.

"Why not?"

He pouted, reminding Kendall of a little child instead of the supposedly "responsible" adult living on the trail.

"Because… Because I don't feel like it." Kendall lied.

"I know that's not it, I can see it in your eyes. Now, tell me the real reason you're afraid to go." James said annoyingly.

What the brunette was saying reminded Kendall of what he had promised himself at the start of the summer, specifically the going to a party thing.

"All right. I'll go. But only because it's only my list."

"Your list?" James asked.

"Yeah, it's just this thing I wrote… never mind, it's stupid."

"No, please tell me. You've made me all curious now."

James smiled, putting the bottle back in its hiding place and sitting down on the bed again.

"It's a list of all the things that I wanted to do here at camp but never did like partying or going to the end of summer bonfire or raiding the kitchen or-" Kendall ceased his rambling admission, clasping a hand over his mouth as if to force the words he was about to utter back down his throat.

James raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Or what?" He asked the blushing boy.

"Or going to see the trail of fame." Kendall saved himself from an awkward situation by quickly coming up with a believable lie.

"You haven't been there yet?" James asked, surprised once again.

"No, my cousin's name is there though."

The trail of fame was a small path on the east edge of the camp. On the trees lining it were the names of the most legendary camp goers, dating back to 1979, when the camp it was converted to one for children.

To get your name on a tree on the trail of fame you had to be special. Whether it was for being the inventor of the midnight raid, like Katy, or for simply being the most popular, like Gretchen Wieners in 2004, it didn't matter. As long as people remembered to after you had stopped going there you qualified.

"Who's your cousin then? Maybe I know him." James asked.

"Her." Kendall corrected, "Katy Johnson is her name."

James sat up straighter.

"O, my God! Now you mention it I can see that you two are totally alike!"

Kendall furrowed his brow.

"You know her?"

"Of course!" James exclaimed, "I came here once in a while when I was fifteen, just to visit friends and party with them and a few other kids from around town. We met at a party"

"But_ how_ did you meet?" Kendall prompted, settling back to enjoy a story.

"Well, it all started with a boring game of spin the bottle. We were only, like, ten people at that party, and everyone had expected it to be bigger, so we were all pretty bored.

"You're cousin suggested we play spin the bottle, and to make it more interesting this weird guy called Roach- don't ask me why they called him that, they just did- dared me to suck her neck. Being the horny teen that I was I did it without hesitation, and soon enough we were making out and practically stripping each other behind the trees."

"YOU WERE _WHAT?!_"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hi, guys! Here's another chapter for ya' :) I'm sorry if I don't post a chapter every day, but I have so many activities and homework that I don't always have time for writing :( So, this was my first attempt at angst and things. **

**Thank you to: Kames and surfsexy for reviewing! This chapter's for you!**

**I was forced to up the rating on this story because of this chapter, but by the way things are heading there will probably be some smut in the future too. ****I say "God" and also swear a lot. Not to offend anyone! I also mentioned underage drinking. I'm not condoning it or anything but it fit into the story.**

**The idea for James' shorts was inspired by a picture of the Swedish tennis player Björn Borg when he was younger****. You can probably find lot's of pictures of him in his trademark shorts if you just google it :) **

**I do not own BTR or most of the characters in this story.**

**As usual: Please review, but most importantly: ENJOY!**

Chapter 3

"YOU WERE _WHAT?!_" Kendall nearly shouted.

"Hey! Calm down! We were only making out." James said.

"You made out with my cousin, dude. We were practically raised together.

"At least it made me figure out that I preferred guys." James shrugged.

Kendall looked slightly taken aback.

"You're gay?" He asked.

"Nope! I'm just bi. But I prefer coc- uh, guys." James answered, just stopping himself in time before he said a _very_ bad word.

Kendall couldn't help but feel a slight glimmer of hope at the fact that he just might have a shot. When James admitted to having made out with Katie, Kendall had been shocked more by the fact that James was straight than by the idea that Katie might have… done it, with anyone at all. Seeing James' perfect hair and clothes he had just assumed he knew the older boy's sexuality. It was a ridiculous stereotype, but it was hard not to jump to conclusions sometimes.

"Are you?" James asked.

"No." Kendall shook his head as well. Did he imagine the flicker of disappointment in James' eyes?

Kendall took a deep breath.

"I'm not bi. I'm gay." He clarified, looking into the brunets eyes to make sure he didn't miss the flicker of another emotion; renewed hope.

"You're actually the first person I ever told."

James' eyes widened.

"Woah. Really? Thanks, I suppose I should say. I'm kind of honored."

The younger boy smiled at that.

"So no-one else knows?"

"No, my friends Carlos and Logan know, and Katie, but they just figured it out. We were thirteen at the time, and I just never had to say it out loud." Kendall winces at the memory. He had always hated awkward moments and this one was at the height of awkwardness. It sometimes felt like Kendall was a magnet for uncomfortable situations.

James saw the pain in Kendall's eyes at the thought of the moment. He chuckled lightly.

"Not a happy memory?" James asked.

Kendall laughed humorlessly.

"Ha! God, no."

"Care to share?"

Kendall thought about it. Why not? James already knew more about him than almost anybody in Kendall's life, he might as well reveal some more.

"Carlos, Logan, and I were having a birthday sleepover in Logan's cabin the day I turned thirteen. All they seemed to do in those days was talk about girls, and usually I played along, but that day I was a bit annoyed. It was my special day and I wanted to enjoy with my friends without having to lie about who the hottest girl at camp was, for example." Kendall paused to see if James was genuinely interested or if he was just asking to be polite.

He seemed to be sincere because he jumped up off his own bed to sit next to Kendall. His aim was to be able to hear the soft-spoken boy better, but when he leaned in closer to listen his arm inadvertently brushed against Kendall's, goose bumps appearing where they touched.

"Eventually they realized that I was acting weird and asked me what was up. I told them that it was nothing special, but they annoyed me to the point of blurting it all out. I told them that I was sick and tired of them talking about girls since I just wasn't as interested as they were, and this was _my_ party.

"They had both had their suspicions already, so I didn't have to say much else. I'm so thankful that their parents raised them to be okay with it. I don't know what I would have done without the support of my friends."

Kendall was getting curious about the brunets own story.

"How about you? Like, how did you come out? If-if you don't mind me asking."

James had asked him, so it shouldn't be strange that he would ask back, but Kendall still felt like it was a question that was slightly too personal, considering that they had only met about an hour earlier.

James cleared his throat.

"Well… I came out as bi when I was fifteen, just a year younger than you are now." The older boy paused, a thousand emotions passing over his face. He seemed slightly distressed about having to tell somebody.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." The blond said.

James smiled weakly.

"No, it's okay." He took a deep breath. "When I was sixteen I got my first boyfriend – Jett – but all he ever wanted to do was make out, and try to convince me to do other things I wasn't ready for yet. One afternoon we were making out on the couch when my dad came home early. I hadn't come out to my parents yet so my dad completely freaked out.

"Long story short, they kicked me out." James shrugged, appearing casual on the outside, like it was nothing, but Kendall could sense the pain he was trying to mask.

"But you were a minor. Weren't they legally obligated to take care of you?"

James nodded.

"Yes, they were, but my aunt Camille is gay. She had been cut off from her family when she came out too, so I had never met her, but I had heard some things about her at a family reunion, and she seemed nice. I decided it was better to live with someone who accepted me for who I am than with people who looked after me reluctantly, so I looked her up, and suddenly I was living here, in the house on the opposite side of the lake. That's why I know my way around without ever having stayed at the camp."

This explained a lot. Kendall looked at the beautiful, sensitive boy beside him and decided they had done enough talking for one day.

"We… we should, uh, we could go to the ballroom now. The welcoming speeches should be starting soon." Kendall suggested bravely.

James grinned.

"Race you there!"

Before Kendall had the chance to answer James was out the door, racing down the trail, and glancing over his shoulder to see if Kendall was coming. Not looking where he was going, James tripped over a tree root in his path, sending him sprawling onto the dirt path.

Kendall judged by his body language that James was not seriously hurt, so he seized the opportunity and ran out of the cabin, only stopping to close the door behind him before he was whirling past a disgruntled James at full speed, laughing freely as he went.

"You'll never catch me!" Kendall shouted, adding an evil laugh at the end.

"Oh, it is _on_!" James shouted from behind him, running to try to reach the laughing boy racing down the path.

* * *

_Two weeks later…_

Kendall was sitting on his bed reading a comic book when he heard a knock on the door. He didn't have time to reply before his cabinmate peeked from behind it.

"Helluuuu!" James called out in a sing-song voice.

Kendall rolled his eyes, but in all honesty he loved the random ball of egocentric energy that was the older boy.

"Well, come in then." Kendall said.

James walked into the small room, flopping onto the bed.

"Man, those kids are _killing_ me!" He complained.

Kendall looked up at James and sighed.

"What have they done now?" Kendall asked, trying not to stare.

James was wearing a normal tank top, which seemed kind of boring compared to most of his fashionable shirts, but he had paired it with the sexiest men's tennis shorts Kendall had ever seen. They were a light beige color, and they finished just below the curve of his butt, showing off his tanned, muscly legs. Both the tank and the shorts were wet, making it look like James was in some type of wet-t-shirt competition, or modeling for a tennis gear company, or just like he was hot as fuck. James stretched, and his shirt rode up a little, showing off to reveal the 'V' of his hips. Kendall bit his lip at the sight.

"I was helping Jo out with the little kids' tennis activity. It was all fun and games until little Marla Thompson found the water hose and decided to try it out." James smirked when Kendall's laughter died down. "See something you like?" He asked following Kendalls gaze down to his muscle toned stomach.

Kendall blushed a furious red.

"N-no! I don't know what you're talking about!"

James grinned at him before walking over to the mirror and trying to fix his hair. He ran his hands through it several times before groaning and giving up. The combination of running his hands through his hair, the outfit, and groaning like an adult movie star had Kendall's pants growing tighter. He quickly placed the Spiderman comic on his lap to hide his little problem from the older teen.

It was so inappropriate! Why did he have to react this way? James was a staff member for pete's sake!

James angled himself so he could see Kendall in the mirror and raised his hands in defeat.

"My hair is _ruined_. There's no point in taking a shower if I'm just going to go swimming later though. Do you wanna come with me now instead?"

Kendall pondered this for a moment. He had actually been to the "beach" by the lake that same morning, but if he said yes he would get to see James in that lifeguard's speedo he always wore. It wasn't the same as the blue shorts the real lifeguards wore at the camp, so James was allowed to wear the sexy fashion item without causing trouble with Kelly.

"Sure!" Kendall finally said.

"Cool." James smiled and took said speedo out of the dresser. "I'll go change in the bathroom and you can change in here. For privacy's sake." He clarified.

Kendall nodded and waited till James had left the room before he stood up. As he changed into a normal white shirt and his usual orange swimming trunks he felt the uncomfortable problem in his pants growing worse. He tried thinking of all the things that were a turn off for him.

_Lets see… _he thought, _mayonnaise sandwiches are really gross._ No, that wasn't quite right. His head was filled with thoughts of James, he needed to think about something that was nothing like him. _I know! Mrs. Brown and all her lady friends at the pool. _Kendall shuddered at the memory. _In their awful swimming costumes that squeeze all of their cellulite-y fat. _His problem started growing smaller again. But then, Kendall stupidly patted Kendall jr. through his boxers in congratulations, causing him to moan at the needed friction. He tried to stifle the sounds he made as his body took over, palming himself harder through the shorts. James usually took hours if he neared a mirror, he should have time to finish what he was doing before James came in and heard the younger male moaning his name, Kendall reasoned with himself.

Kendall slipped his hand into his boxers, biting his lip until it almost started bleeding before releasing it from between his teeth. He continued stroking himself at a slow pace, leaning up against the wall and banging the back of his head against it.

Suddenly, he froze. Was that the sound of bare feet pattering across the porch? Kendall didn't have time to mask what he was doing before a happy James walked through the door once more.

"That thing I said about privacy, was a joke, hihi-" James broke off as he took in the scene before him. He gasped and then gulped, his adams apple bobbing up and down. Kendall was still frozen in place as James backed slowly out of the room again, a slight blush tinting his cheeks.

"I'll just… be waiting at the beach, okay? You can come down when you're… done." James winked almost imperseptebly before leaving again.

_Holy shit. Did that just happen?! _Kendall thought, removing his hand from his trousers and going to wash it off in the bathroom. As he looked up at his face in the mirror he thought about what it must have looked like to James.

_Well… it looked like what it actually was. Me getting off thinking about him in those amazing shorts. Oh, dear lord, please excuse me for a second while I go die in a hole. _Luckily, Kendalls small "problem" had disappeared from the humiliation, leaving him with an embarrassed feeling gnawing on his brain.

_I'll never be able to face him now! This is so embarrassing… He must think I'm so immature, having to jack off every day like a thirteen-year-old boy._

Kendall knew he would have to face James someday, anyway.

"Hey there, you horndog!" James shouted at Kendall from his spot in the water.

He was floating some twenty meters away from the bank. Kendall looked around nervously to see if anyone had heard him, but surprisingly the entire beach was deserted.

He decided that the best way to deal with what had happened was to pretend it had never happened.

_What a great idea! _A little voice in Kenny's head said sarcastically, _Just ignore all forms of confrontation, that'll fix it! _The blond shook his head as if to rid himself of the irritating voice. It was irritating because it was so right. He started wading into the water, stopping when it reached his waist to dive in completely.

As soon as he was fully submerged he started doing furious crawl. That was what people did when they were in the water, right? He didn't have to immediately go over to talk to James. No, this was perfectly normal behavior, perfectly normal.

_Yeah right_, the annoying voice in his head added. _No, you be quiet!_ Damn, was he talking to himself now? He was obviously going insane. Suddenly he felt a cold, wet hand on his arm, jerking him above the surface before he could go any further.

Kendall spluttered, running a hand over his face.

"I'm not mad, you know." James said quietly.

Kendall didn't respond, looking anywhere but James' face. And chest. And _gorgeous_ arms.

"I don't mind that you were… thinking about me. Things don't have to be strange between us."

Kendall's head snapped up, redder than ever.

"Who said I was thinking about you?" His voice betrayed him immediately.

James bit his lip.

"It's okay… I… might have thought- uhm. I might have thought about you one time too."

Kendall's breath hitched. Over the course of weeks he had spent with James, his original attraction had developed into, well, maybe not love, but an intense crush. The thought of James thinking about him made his heart race.

"I... I really like you, James." Kendall's arms wound around his own waist as he spoke, for warmth - there was a slight breeze blowing over his wet skin – but also as a sort of emotional shield. He didn't know how James would react to his statement. Kendall himself still couldn't believe that he had been so blunt. It wasn't like him at all.

"Kendall…" James trailed off.

_Oh, god. This is his way of telling me to fuck off, to stop being such a creep. I knew this would happen. I _knew _it! Why did I have to say anything? He's going to look at me like I'm just a little boy, with pity and disgust in his eyes as he looks at me. Why did I think that I even had a small shot with him? He was probably only saying those nice things to me because he felt sorry for me. Sorry about the fact that I would never have a chance with _anyone_, let alone someone as gorgeous, talented, unique, and generally perfect as him. _Kendall felt tears prick his eyes. He thought he was sure of what would come next, he thought he knew what would happen.

What he didn't expect was James' soft hand on his chin, lovingly tilting Kendall's face to meet his eyes.

"I really like you too, Kendall." He spoke softly, clearly, as if he knew that Kendall would doubt that he had heard correctly.

Kendall felt some hope bringing warmth back to his body. He smiled slightly, tilting his head to the side as he admired the boy he had adored from the moment he met him.

"But..." Kendall frowned, what "but"'s were there? He liked James, James at least _thought_ he liked Kendall, what could go wrong?

"But we can't be together." James finished pain in his eyes as he looked straight at the trembling, younger boy.

"W-why?" Kendall rasped, noting that the tears had started to fall down his cheeks, making his voice croak.

"You know why." James said, face pleading.

Kendall shook his head, honestly not remembering the real reason they could never work.

"Kendall, I work here. This is the only job I have to save money for college. I can't afford to lose this. You know my grades were bad in high school, moving here really shook things up for me, so I could never concentrate. I'll never get a scholarship." James took Kendall's calloused, tanned hand in his own and brought it up to his lips, kissing the knuckles lightly before putting it back by the blond's side.

Kendall sniffled.

"I-I understand." He said, turning around and wading back out of the water.

"Kendall, wait!" James called after him, splashing forwards to catch up with him.

"James." Kendall said, turning back to the desperate brunet, "I'm fine." Lie. "Things don't have to be weird between us." Lie. "I'm just going to go have a shower. I didn't have time this morning." Another lie.

He was most definitely _not _fine, he would forever be apart inside over not being good enough for James, and he was going to have a shower so that James wouldn't see or hear any more of his tears. Even if Kendall didn't have to worry about what he looked like in front of James as he obviously didn't care about him anyway, he still didn't feel like snot-crying all before the older boy.

"I'll… see you back at the cabin, I guess." Kendall said, oddly calm all of a sudden.

It felt like all of this was happening to someone else. Like he was a free spirit, hovering above them, watching the scene unfold intently. As crazy as it sounded, it did really feel that way.

"Okay." James said, searching Kendall's face for any hidden emotions. For once, he couldn't detect any.

It didn't mean there weren't any.

Back at the cabin, Kendall let the tears fall silently, mixing with the numbing, hot water of the shower.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hi guys! Here's another chapter :) Thank you to: Sassy Kames, .carlospena93 and surfsexy for the absolutely LOVELY reviews! Also, does anyone know of a good beta? I need one pretty badly and can't really decide who to choose without a recomendation.**

**I made a few random notes when I was writing:**

**I do not own Adele's or Whitney Houston's music, neither do I own BTR or any of it's characters.****.**

**I don't really like Jo or Katie on the show, so I guess it kind f reflects here, sorry. **

**I refer to Jo as "the blonde" and Kendall as "the blond". It might be hard to find but there is a difference.**

**Kendall Schmidt's favorite book is actually the one I mentioned here.**

**Age of consent there is 16, I think, so as long as James is only an assistant it's legal, if not allowed.**

**This isn't a very interesting chapter, but it had to happen for the next one to be possible, you'll see.**

**I don't feel like Kendall getting drunk is quite right yet, but oh well…**

**Chapter 4**

Kendall was still miserable when he pulled on his clothes, but even if it was painful he knew that it this was the best decision for both of them.

"Kelly?" He said, sitting down on the chair before the desk of the woman in person.

"Hmm? What is it Kendall?" The dark-haired woman looked up, smiling, but soon frowned at the sight of his face.

Kendall puffy red eyes and a slightly red nose, he had obviously crying. That was the least of it, however. His body language was the worst. The usually blushing and bouncy Kendall was gone, and in his place was a pale, empty boy. Even his hair seemed grayer and flatter.

"Honey, are you okay?" She asked, concerned.

"I'm fine." He so obviously wasn't. "I'm here to ask if I could move to a different cabin."

"Why? What is it? Are some of the kids disturbing you again? Because I can call their parents right now and send them home-" Kelly was reaching for the phone as she spoke, but was swiftly stopped by Kendall reaching out to touch her arm, signaling her that it wasn't what he wanted.

"No, it's fine. It's not that."

Kelly looked slightly confused.

"Well, what is it then?" She asked.

"I'm just… It's personal." He replied.

"Who is your roommate? I'm sure it's nothing we can't resolve."

"Mr. Diamond." Kendall said miserably, his heart aching for the boy at the beach.

Kelly didn't understand the emotions on the pale boys face. From what she had experienced James was an incredibly sweet and lovable boy. She didn't realize that that was the problem.

"Okay… If you say it is private I won't bug you about it." She turned to her computer, typing something and then scrolling towards the bottom of the page.

"I'm just checking to see if there are any available cabins or other people asking for room changes."

She frowned.

"I'm sorry, Kendall, but it looks like you're going to have to stay with James. Nobody has signed themselves up as willing to change cabin mates. I can send out an e-mail asking if anyone would want to switch, but it really doesn't look like it at the moment. I'll have to cancel my next meeting to type them up, but it's doable"

Kendall was conflicted. He didn't want to cause more trouble for Kelly, who had too much work already, but he also didn't know how he would stand being in a cabin with James.

_There are only two more weeks before Logan and Carlos get here, you can live with him until they arrive. They won't say no if you ask if you can room with them. _Kendall thought to himself.

He smiled without any real emotion.

"That's okay, Kelly, I'll survive. See you at the camping trip on Thursday!"

Kelly beamed, not seeing through the façade Kendall had never had to use before.

"Great!" She said, thinking that he must have thought of a solution himself. "Don't forget that you can talk to me abou anything, okay? See you Thursday. "

Kendall left, trudging back up the path to the cabin. It was getting dark outside, and to his dismay he saw a light inside the cabin.

"Hey." He muttered when he walked through the door, toeing off his shoes and throwing his beanie on the bed, all the while avoiding eye contact with the brunet. He didn't want his heart to experience that shattering feeling if it wasn't necessary. He went to lay on his bed, his back facing James as he read the abandoned comic book from before.

"Kendall…" James trailed off hopelessly.

Kendall ignored him. If he didn't acknowledge James the pain would maybe go away. He had to get over this boy.

"Kendall, please don't ignore me." James tried again, and this time Kendall sat up to look at him. He would never be able to deny that sweet voice anything, no matter how hard he tried.

"Thank you." James sat on his bed, swallowing nervously. "I… I still really like you, Kendall."

_Ha! _Kendall said in his mind. _If you really liked me you would never have hurt me like this._ He knew it was irrational to think that way but his mind was numb and sore, he was hardly thinking at all, just feeling.

"Please don't hate me forever. You know why I'm doing this." James' voice broke towards the end, and Kendall couldn't stand it any longer.

"I don't hate you." He murmured. He got up, walked out the door and then ran to his big time favorite place to hide.

When he had been bullied as a child he had always tried to find good places to hide. At twelve years old he had found the best place in the whole camp, the old janitor's cabin. It was like the other cabins, just too small to be converted into one you could live in, and too big to serve any important purpose. So it had stayed there, with a small couch against the wall and a few mops in the corner. Camp Armstrong had become too big to have just one janitor's closet in 1998, and so the trail leading to it had become invisible to anyone who wasn't a crying teenage boy.

Even so, it took him a second to find it. When he eventually did, however, he was immediately comforted by the familiar smells. The place had a musky scent, but not a dirty, mildew-like one, but a clean, safe smell. Kendall couldn't quite describe it, but it made him feel at home.

The blond walked over to the left wall, scanning a shelf that had previously been used for stacking toilet paper. Now it held all of the books Kendall had grown tired of as a child. He hadn't known where to put them, but he hadn't the heart to throw them away. In times of struggle he had often found some peace in reading the familiar words.

Now, he ran his finger along the spines, stopping when he came to Ray Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 452". It had become his favorite two years previous. He loved the whole idea of the book.

Sighing, he lay down on the couch, letting the book fall open at the start of his favorite chapter.

For the next hour and a half, all of his thoughts and pains disappeared into a story about a future American society where books were outlawed and firemen burned every house that contained them. It was thrilling and gripping, so before he knew it Kendall was receiving texts from James, asking where he was. He hadn't realized that he had been gone so long.

When he first saw who they were from he came close to deleting them all, but then he read one in which James mentioned Kelly being worried that Kendall hadn't shown up for dinner. Kendall never missed a meal, he always seemed to be hungry, but when he thought about it he realized that he hadn't been hungry since their confrontation in the water.

He sent a brief text to Kelly, explaining that he was fine, just not hungry, and asking her to tell James that he would be back at the cabin later.

That night he stayed up reading until the sun came up. At six in the morning he was still not sleepy, so he crept back into the cabin to change into another pair of clothes, placing his softest beanie upon his head. He walked back out into the clear light of morning and stretched largely before he started up the hill. His body felt physically tired, but his mind had not let him sleep.

Kendall sat down when he reached his destination, the top of a cliff above the camp. Carlos had found it on one of his many adventures at the camp, and James, Carlos and himself were still the only ones that knew of it. It took a while to get there, but it was always worth it. Even when it was misty the sturdy cliff offered a breathtaking view of the camp and the peaceful nature surrounding it, making it the perfect place to come and think. Kendall went there for the opposite reason. He had come there to make the beauty take all other thoughts away, and as he lay on his side and took it all in, it worked. He soon felt the warm hands of slumber bringing him down.

* * *

_Thursday_

It was the morning of the camping trip, and as Kendall woke up on the hard ground by the cliff once again, he questioned why he didn't simply bring a sleeping bag, and decided to bring a blanket next time, at least. Then he changed his mind. Sleeping on nothing but the raw skin of Mother Nature was the only thing keeping him sane at the moment. His nights in the cold brought him the sleep he so desperately needed, oddly enough.

He stood up and stretched, yawning almost comically as he started back down the bushy path to his cabin. Luckily he had woken up at seven, his watch told him. He would probably be early enough to pack his bags before James woke up.

He had successfully been avoiding the handsome older boy for the past few days, letting his mind rest on other matters, and he wasn't going to ruin what he had accomplished.

He most definitely hadn't gotten over him, though, and if James ever happened to change his mind Kendall would be with him in a heartbeat, but he knew this was highly unlikely, so he managed his pain into a dull ache.

"Hey there, Kendall!" Jo Taylor called out, as enthusiastic as ever.

Jo was one of most energetic the assistant trip organizers at Camp Armstrong. The youngest too, it seemed, as most of the leaders clustered by the lake had beards or wrinkles.

"Hi, Jo." He said in a bored monotone.

"You excited to be going camping?" She grinned, her blonde curls bouncing crazily.

"Sure. Hey, Dak." One of the new campers had just arrived with a huge back over his shoulder.

"Hey, Kendall! H-hi, Jo." Dak said shyly.

"Hello, Dak." Jo replied, a blush tinting her cheeks as she looked at the younger boy.

Honestly, Kendall was too wrapped up in himself to notice it.

Dak's face brightened.

"Oh, hi, James!" He grinned at the boy as Jo and the other leaders said their hellos.

Kendall was suddenly very aware of the fact that he was the only one who wasn't excited about the trip. The only reason he had gone was that Kelly needed someone who knew the place they were going to better than the mostly new assistants.

He felt a sort of petty anger towards James who was smiling and talking to some guy Kendall thought was called Siobhan. He turned around, pretending to look at his phone so as not to seem like a complete weirdo staring with hurt eyes at the boy who had rejected him.

"Kendall. Hi."

Kendall froze when he heard the familiar voice behind him. He didn't expect James to talk right to him.

_You had expected him to act as immature as you are acting, didn't you? _That old voice in his head told him. He cleared his throat before answering,

"H-hello." Damn, there was that stutter again. Why did he always have to act so stupid around him?

"Um… How have you been? I haven't seen you around so much."

Kendall's heart melted when he looked into the hazel eyes of the man he- well, maybe not _loved, _but had deep feelings for.

"Hi. I've been… fine. Thank you. How about you? How have you been?"

James looked pain.

"I've been… fine, too. Or, well…" James steeped so he was facing further away from the group, making their chat more intimate. "I've missed you. I wish we could be together."

"God, James, why do you do this?" He whispered, wanting to scream but not wanting to reveal themselves to the group of chattering teen's five paces behind them.

James frowned.

"Do what?" He asked.

"You say you missed me and then just expect me to be over you? It's- it's not fair!"

James looked heartbroken, but how could he honestly think that what he was doing was okay?

"I'm sorry…" He said, his voice matching the expression on his face.

Kendall felt tears stinging behind his eyes for what felt like the millionth time that week.

"Just… please. Leave me alone." He turned on his heel, walking back towards his bag as his heart was torn into shreds once again. He retrieved his iPod and chunky, retro headphones. He wanted the big, red headphones to scream "_don't talk to me_!".

The unfortunate device immediately started playing the last song he had listened to last: Adele's "Set Fire to the Rain". The soul-felt, clear voice of the singer just intensified his sad feelings, so he quickly fumbled to change the song to something peppy before he burst into tears.

He sighed in relief as "I wanna dance with somebody" by Whitney Houston came on. Kendall leaned against the nearest tree, closing his eyes and losing himself in the mainstream music playing at full volume on his iPod until a light hand on his arm interrupted him.

He lifted one eye, taking in Jo and Dak standing before him, goofy smiles on their faces. The blond reluctantly pulled off his headphones, looking at them questioningly.

"It's time to go now!" Jo exclaimed, not giving Kendall time to comprehend before she was dragging him and his bags to the end of the line of people walking briskly up the hill, towards the best camping spot in the area.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Kendall shouted, nonetheless laughing as Jo and Dak positively dragging him up path with the others.

They all grinned at each other, and Kendall was really hoping that this was the start to another friendship.

"Listen up, everyone! I'm now going to read out the assigned tent partners!" Everybody gathered around Jo as she started reading names off the list Kelly had handed her. She had been allowed to make slight changes according to how they acted on the hike there, but she had to stick with most of the pairings.

"Okay, we have ten tents this week, three double tents, one tent for four people, one single tent and then five tents for three people. Mark, you get the single, Charlie, Amanda and Penny get the blue triple tent…" Kendall tuned out until the sound of his own name reached his ears.

"Kendall, James, You get the green the green tent. Jenny and Dean get the orange tent. Lastly, Dak and I," She smiled at said boy, "Will share whatever's left."

Kendall was shocked. Jo must have changed the sleeping plans because there was no way Kelly would make Kendall share a tent with James, let alone allow a female leader share a tent with a camper who was practically the same age as her.

"That can't be right." Dean muttered from in front of Kendall, voicing his thoughts.

Kendall caught several other people frowning, but the girl causing the problem seemed oblivious. He found his mind spinning. Kelly _knew_ he and James weren't on good terms. Did she have some kind of weird plan to get them together again?

"The tents are right here in this bag!" Dave – the oldest person there - told them. "Once you've set them up we can finally eat our hot dogs!"

Everyone cheered apart from Kendall, who still felt that something wasn't quite right about the sleeping plans.

"Jo!" Kendall jogged to catch up with the blonde, pulling her aside as the others rushed to find their tents.

"What's up?"

Kendall looked at her disbelievingly.

"Whats _up_?! Jo, James and I aren't on good terms. You know it, I know it, _everyone _knows it. Why would you make us share a tent?"

Jo looked guilty.

"Oh, well, uh, Kelly wrote the list. I didn't plan any of this."

Kendall groaned. He knew she knew that he knew... Damn, it was complicated.

"Why are you making this more complicated for yourself? I know Kelly wouldn't do that. Now, what's the real reason?" He asked.

She now looked slightly scared. She quickly glanced around, making sure that no-one was within earshot, taking a step closer and lowering her voice nonetheless.

"Kendall, if you ever tell someone this I will _crush _you. Do you understand?"

Kendall nodded. He would never admit it but this Jo kind of intimidated him.

"Okay… The change in sleeping plans? It actually has nothing to do with you guys. Its- it's Dak. He's just so nice, and cute, and _adorable_. When he asked if we could share a tent I just _couldn't_ say no!"

She got a dreamy look on her face when she talked about him, Kendall noted.

"So… you changed the plans." Kendall had to make sure he had understood correctly. "You know that he's sixteen, right?"

Jo nodded.

"_And_ he's a camper. In case you hadn't noticed, what you're doing is kind of illegal."

The older blonde looked slightly triumphant at that.

"No it's not. I Googled it. It's perfectly legal." She said smugly.

"Okay, maybe it's legal, but it's still not allowed." He replied just as smugly.

She didn't look so smug at that, and it hit Kendall with a bitter aftertaste irony that Jo's situation was very similar to his and James', the only difference being that Jo went for what she wanted.

"What, you gonna tell somebody?" She asked.

Kendall thought for a moment. If he kept quiet he could probably still be friends with her, and she might find the love of her life, or something. If he ratted her out he would get… not much. The chance to avoid James further. That was pretty much all. He would also lose the little respect he had gained from the other kids that summer.

He had made his decision.

"Nope. This way, you'll owe me for making me sleep with James." He winked, making sure she knew that he was just kidding.

Jo grinned, relieved.

"I'll make it up to you! I swear." Now, she placed her hand on his arm. "Really. Thanks."

"N-no biggie." He said, smiling back.

She cleared her throat.

"We best be getting back. The others must be wondering where we are."

Dean looked up as they approached the group.

"Hey, there! Where have you too been? We're struggling here!" He asked, making Kendall and Jo laugh as he flailed about, getting tangled in the material of a baby blue tent.

* * *

"Never have I ever… slept with two guys at once." Penny slurred, raising her red solo cup as she spoke.

"Come on, nobody here has done that!" Mark snorted.

Everybody looked around, checking to see if anyone actually would drink. Jo didn't, Kendall didn't, Sandy, Dak, Amanda and Jenny didn't… Everyone gasped dramatically as James self-consciously lifted his cup of beer to his lips.

"James, you naughty boy!" Amanda shrieked, stumbling over to sit beside the blushing brunet. "Tell us _aall _about it."

"Guys, don't force him. You don't have to answer James." Sandy – the least drunk of them all – reassured him.

"Yes, you do! You can't say A and not say B! It's, like, the _rules_." Amanda insisted.

Everyone looked at James expectantly, everyone except Sandy, Mark and Kendall. Sandy just rolled her eyes and looked away, Mark just looked shocked (he probably hadn't even known that James was bi), and Kendall was _way_ too drunk and couldn't be bothered to sit up properly. He was leaning against Dak's shoulder, him having been the one to finally try his Bacardi Breezer. Kendall knew it wasn't a strong drink, so they must have put something in it, because by the time he had drunk half he was already giggling into Jenny's shoulder.

"It was one time, okay?!" James exclaimed, throwing a hand up in surrender. "We we're all really drunk, and they were _really hot_ gymnasts from San Fransisco…"

"So, one thing led to another, and soon you were in the bathroom, doing unspeakable things?" Amanda asked nosily.

"_No._ We went to his hotel room." James' blush could almost rival Kendall's usual one at this point, so Jenny said,

"My turn!" And quickly began to say the next thing she had never done.

Kendall found himself drifting to sleep, snuggling into Dak's armpit until the darkness took him.

* * *

"Oh, fuck, yeah!"

"What the _hell?!_"

Kendall woke up with a start, accidentally hitting James as he flailed in the sleeping bag he never realized he had gotten into.

"Dude… why'd you do that?" James asked groggily, rolling onto his side to check his phone. "It's, like, five in the morning."

Kendall didn't reply at first, he had a killer headache.

"I heard something outside, sorry if I hit you."

James shrugged, motioning that it was nothing, and started to sit up.

"Where are you going?" Kendall asked, sitting up as well when James started unzipping the tent flap.

"I'm just going to see what it could be. It might be an animal or something."

Kendall shook his head, going over to his backpack to grab a pair of sweatpants.

"It was definitely a person. I'm coming with you." The blond said.

They both crawled out of their tent, their eyes landing on the lone figure crouching by the beige tent. They started to approach what now seemed to be Dean.

"What's going on here?" James asked, crouching beside Dean by the entrance to Dak and Jo's tent.

"James, this is none of your business, get back to your tent." The man said gruffly, trying to shove him away from the flap. "That applies to you too, Kendall." He added when he saw the other.

"I heard someone shouting, is everyone okay?" Kendall asked, concerned.

"It's none of your business, didn't you hear me? Now go back to sleep, both of you." He said, pushing them both away again.

"No! Dak and Jo are our friends and we should be allowed to know if they're hurt!" James hissed, mindful of the other sleeping campers.

Dean frowned at them before stepping back, letting them crowd around the entrance.

"Suit yourself." He muttered.

The two boy's formed identical masks of shock as they saw a blushing Jo and Dak covered only by a fluffy red blanket.

"H-hi, guys." Jo grinned weakly.

Kendall turned equally red as he realized what it was he had heard was _not_ a cry of pain, and that the other pair weren't just blushing because they were embarrassed, they were also flushed from exertion.

"Oh-I'm-I'm sorry, uh, what, um. I-I'll just go now, bye." Kendall rambled, starting to leave before James put a hand on his forearm. Kendall tried to slow his heartbeat at the contact. This was not the time.

"So, are you guys dating?" James asked, choosing to ignore their state of undress.

Dak and Jo looked at each other uncertainly.

"Do you want us to be?" She asked Dak.

Dak nodded as he smiled shyly, taking a deep breath before he turned back to look at James.

"I guess we are."

James just nodded.

"Well, since Dean found out, you know you're going to be in a whole ton of trouble with Kelly and the board when we get back, right? Jo, you probably won't be allowed to work here anymore."

Jo nodded sadly.

"I know. But he's worth it." She said, taking one of Dak's hand and squeezing it. "Now can you get the hell out of our tent?" She asked, putting a hand on James' head and playfully shoving him out the opening.

"See you in the morning!" He called, right before shutting the flap completely.

"You seem more embarrassed than surprised. Did you know about this?" James asked, walking back to the tent they shared with Kendall in tow.

Kendall was slightly too shocked by what he had just witnessed to feel weird about talking to James.

"No… I knew Jo liked Dak, and vice versa, but that's it."

"If you say so."

They climbed back into their sleeping bags, turning their backs to each other once again.

Kendall was drifting back to sleep when he thought he heard a voice behind him.

"One day we'll be together."


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi guys! I'm _really really_ sorry about the long wait but I've had some important stuff going on in my life recently, so I haven't had so much time to write. **

**This chapter was edited by my new beta_ .carlospena93_. I think she's done a great job! So shoutout to you!... or something...**

**Anyway thank you to: _it'sallguchicauseyolo_, _Sassy Kames_ and of course, my beta for leaving lovely reviews :D**

**I _do_ realize that there were, like, a TON of mistakes in the last chapter but I had two minutes to catch my bus and I didn't want you guys to wait any longer, so I finished it in a rush :( but I'm really glad you liked it!**

**This chapter contains 3 hidden references so keep an eye out ;) I'll leave the answers at the bottom of the page.**

Chapter 5

"I hereby open this meeting." Kelly declared sternly, demanding silence of the buzzing room**. **It took a minute but eventually even the kids in the audience shut up.

"Let me remind you all why we are here. This past Thursday eighteen-year-old staff member, Jo Taylor, was found canoodling with sixteen-year old camper Dak Zevon on a camping trip. Neither of them deny what was going on."

A few freshmen giggled at her use of the word "canoodling" but most of the board members and campers remained silent, aware that this was a serious situation. Dean glared at the cluster of teens from his seat in the near-center of the room, effectively silencing them.

"As we all know this is fully legal, the question is whether we should allow it or send them both home, as is custom." She continued.

One of the board members raised her hand, asking if she could speak for a moment.

_She must be new,_ Kendall thought. _I haven't seen her before._

"Yes, Mrs. Umbridge?" Kelly said.

"I simply do not understand why we should be having this meeting at all. It seems perfectly obvious that we should not treat these children any differently. What they did was against the rules, and they should be punished." The Umbridge woman said shrilly, raising her nose up in a comical, snooty manner.

"It is true that we have proceeded in that fashion other times, but you must not have heard about the petition." Kelly answered.

The woman did, in fact, seem slightly confused at the mention of a petition.

"A petition was sent around anonymously." Kelly explained. "It was a petition to allow campers from the ages sixteen and upwards to be allowed to be in a relationship with staff member under twenty." Kelly flipped through the papers on a clipboard in her lap, stopping when she found what she was searching for. She started reading out loud,

"When I was fourteen I fell in love with a fifteen-year-old. We dated all through our years of camp, until the day he/she was too old to be a camper and became a member of staff instead. Now, we have to keep our relationship a secret as my partner needs this job for personal reasons. It is legal, and it has never affected my partners position as staff, so we have decided to start this petition to allow campers over sixteen and staff under twenty to date."" The dark-haired woman in the middle of the room got up, showing the paper to the people in the circle beside her.

Practically every staff member and camper over the age of twelve were seated or standing in the ballroom. The leaders of the board, Gustavo and Kelly, were seated in a semicircle opposite the "offenders" (Dak and Jo), who were seated side by side.

"It seems that just over half the campers and seventy percent of staff have signed this paper, so it was my duty as manager of Camp Armstrong to bring this up in an official meeting." Kelly continued. "As you heard in the note, the couple who started this has chosen to stay anonymous. Mr. Rocque and I have agreed on letting them stay that way. Instead, we have asked Miss Taylor and Mr. Zevon to explain themselves. After we have discussed the rule, the board will vote on it. Mr. Rocque's vote will count as the equivalent of three of your votes and mine will count as two. Do you have any questions?"

Kelly seemed so polished and professional despite being so young. Kendall was slightly awed by her presence in the makeshift courtroom.

Kendall was currently sitting in the front row of the audience, having snatched the spot from an unsuspecting kid going for a bathroom break. He had felt guilty, of course, but he felt like it was slightly justified considering the fact that this could affect him more than the little girl.

When his cabin neighbor, Joshua, had knocked on their door with the petition, Kendall had been confused at first. Was this some kind of joke? Had someone found out about him and James? He realized that the world didn't revolve around Kendall Knight when he saw the long list of names already added onto the little leaflet it was printed on. Obviously, he signed his name, but he told Joshua that James was out and that he would be back later that night.

Reading the leaflet had opened his eyes to some things however. He had started imagining himself in James' shoes, and he didn't like the view he got of himself.

James obviously just wanted to go to college; he couldn't prioritize Kendall over that. Also, Kendall had been acting like such a drama queen! Granted, James couldn't read his mind, so he didn't quite know the extent of Kendall's pathetic thoughts, but the younger of the two had still not been so pleasant when he was around him. If he were James Kendall wouldn't give himself another chance, rule change or not.

When Kendall realized this, he had cried for two and a half hours straight, only getting himself together in time to rush for the meeting, running to take the spot of an unsuspecting twelve-year-old near the front. The poor girl had only been on a bathroom break, but Kendall figured he was affected more by the outcome of the meeting than she was.

"No, Dak and I met back in March, at school." Jo was saying, answering a question asked by one of the older members of the board.

"And did you enter a relationship before or after arriving here?" The balding man asked, looking at Dak this time.

The young boy seemed to panic, looking at Jo desperately to see if she would answer for him. She pointedly looked away.

"Eeerm, no, n-no, we became an item before we knew that the other was of a completely different age, though."

Kendall knew that that was a lie, but it wouldn't surprise him if Jo had briefed Dak on what to say. They probably hadn't even met before camp started.

The man nodded, taking a few notes, and then the woman to his right asked the next question. They proceeded to ask a few other thing before Kelly called attention back to herself.

"Alright! It seems like we don't have any more questions. Shall we proceed to the vote?" She asked.

The board members nodded and mumbled in agreement before Kelly explained the voting process. All the board members would write if they wanted the rule passed or not on a piece of piece of paper which they would then give to Gustavo's second assistant to count.

For the moment, all not involved in the voting process were ushered outside for a twenty minute break while the votes were tallied.

Kendall saw Amanda, from the camping trip, walking up to him.

"Hi, Kendall." She said, smiling.

"Hey, Mandy." He replied, falling into step beside her and leading her over to a nearby bench.

"How have you been?" He asked, as he pushed some stray strands of dirty blond hair away from his face.

"Urgh, not good!" She said fixing her dress so it hung perfectly off her skinny hips.

Kendall was actually slightly in awe of her beauty and slender physique. She was of average height but very skinny. She had a very round face framed by curly, flame-red hair that reached the middle of her back. Despite being very thin she had an hourglass figure, big boobs and a tiny waist. She didn't actually _need_ to make the extra effort of picking out lovely clothes, but she did it anyway, often being seen in crop top's paired with shorts or high-waisted skirts. Her trademark, however, was short, super-duper short dresses that showed off her long legs and went in tightly at the waist.

This was the type of dress she was wearing today. It forest green and had a deep "V" that went down to the mossy green ribbon at her waist. She had paired it with clunky black high heels.

"Aww, honey, why haven't you been good?" Kendall asked again, sounding gayer than ever.

"Okay, so you know that new hair dye I was going to try?"

Kendall nodded, vaguely remembering her mentioning something about dying her hair a rusty brown.

"The bottle had a leak!" She wailed. "It was in my bag and now all my clothes that weren't on the floor are dyed 'Passionate Red'!"

The blond couldn't help but laugh at that, even if he felt bad for her. He knew how much her clothes meant to her. They were her identity, as was her southern drawl.

"Oh my god, you poor thing!" He said.

Amanda laughed with him.

"Anyway, how have _you_ been? You haven't really been turning up at the cafeteria or any activities. I've been really worried."

Kendall felt awful at the reminder that his life wasn't as fun as it was when he was alone with his redheaded companion.

"Uhm… I've been- I've been fine." He replied.

Mandyhad seen his sudden change of expression and could tell that he was lying. She softened her voice and leaned in closer.

"Oh no. What's been going on, Sweet-cakes?" She said affectionately.

Kendall wasn't completely keen on Amanda's odd nicknames for people, but "Sweet-cakes" was definitely an upgrade from "Sugar-babe", his last nickname.

"Well…" He seemed hesitant. He had yet to tell anyone why he was so down.

"Darling, you can tell me _anything._" She drawled.

Kendall smiled softly at her. He couldn't believe how nice she was being. They had only met a few days ago and she was already acting like he was one of her favorite people in the world.

"Okay, I'll tell you." He took a deep breath. "You know James is my roommate, right?"

Amanda said, yes, she did know.

"I might have, uh, maybe- uhm…" He was having trouble admitting it out loud.

"Just spit it out, Sweetness." She encouraged.

"I might have fallen for him and been rejected." He said in a rush. "I should never have thought I was good enough for him…" Tears threatened behind his eyes.

Amanda's eyes went wide before he was pulling Kendall into a huge bear hug, her slender arms surprisingly strong.

"I'm so sorry! I had _no _idea. What was he _thinking?_" She pulled back, looking Kendall up and down. "You are the hottest little thing at this camp, and if you weren't gay, guess what, you would be my new boyfriend!"

Kendall blushed.

"You're just saying that…"

Amanda brought one green finger-nailed hand up to lift Kendall's chin up, forcing him to meet her eyes.

"I am _not_ lying, Kendall Knight. No offence, but I never really noticed you all those other years, but this year? You have gotten really, _really_ hot."

Kendall smiled through the tears coursing down his tanned cheeks.

"You're a really great friend, you know that Mandy?" He sniffled.

Amanda just hugged him again.

"I know, honey, I know." She joked.

She pulled back for a second, wiping away her own tears of sympathy.

They heard someone shouting that the twenty minute break was over.

Amanda reached into her bag, retriever a small packet of Kleenex.

"Here," She said, handing the still sniffling blond one of them. "Take this, we need to get back."

Kendall thanked her and they stood up, walking slowly into the ballroom along with the rest of the campers in the audience. Amanda reached her seat and said goodbye to Kendall.

"I want you to properly tell me all about it later!" She called through the hustle and bustle of people returning to their seats.

"Okay, calm down everybody!" Kelly called out, and the mass fell quiet simultaneously, curious about the outcome of it all.

"I will soon reveal the result of the vote, but first I must just mention how close it was!" She smiled at the people around her.

Kendall was at the edge of his seat when Kelly pulled a slip of paper from an envelope the assistant handed her.

"The rule…" She trailed off, drawing out the suspence.

"HAS CHANGED!" She shouted happily, obviously what she had wanted as well.

More than 90 percent of the audience stood and cheered with her, but not Kendall.

He had risen along with the others, but he was silent as he stared across the room. James sat almost directly across from him, making eye-contact with the blond and shifting his eyes to door, indicating that Kendall should follow him out into the sunshine. Kendall took a hesitant step towards the door, scanning the room to see if anyone he knew saw him as he snuck out of the room and into the balmy June weather.

He stood outside the door, sticking his hands in his pockets as he waited for James to emerge from the stuffy ballroom.

"James." He breathed when said boy came into view.

"H-hi."

Kendall had to bite his cheek to stop himself from giggling. Their roles had obviously been reversed on the stuttering front.

"You wanted to talk to me?" Kendall said calmly.

It was like that time by the lake; in a situation where most people panicked Kendall remained oddly calm. On the outside, at least.

James nodded, indicating that they should go sit on the stone bench Amanda and Kendall had occupied just moments before.

"I… I have something to ask, Kendall." James said in a shaky, seemingly nervous tone of voice.

"What is it?" Kendall was surprised at his determination, hadn't he recently told James to back off?

Even if Kendall had a solid mask of cool composure on the outside, his innermost feelings were like that of a hormonal teenage girl upon finding out that her favorite boy band member was happily married to someone else.

"So…" James trailed off, and Kendall found himself quoting Amanda.

"Spit it out."

James nodded.

"Okay, so, um, the rule changed, so I was wondering if-" The pretty boy was interrupted by Kendall's flat monotone.

"If I am going to follow you around like a lost puppy?"

"No! If anything that is the complete opposite of what I was going to ask."

Kendall still couldn't let himself hope.

"James, please don't say it. Please. I can't take you saying you like me but we can't be together again. My friggin' _heart_ can't take it. You can't just string me along like that, it's not fair." Kendall's voice broke on the last word, and his cool composure broke with it. He had to use all of his willpower not to burst into tears once more.

"That's not what I was going to say." James said, raising an eyebrow and sounding like the gorwn up Mr. Diamond Kendall had met that first day.

The blond couldn't help thinking that it was _really_ sexy when he acted that way...

"I was _going_ to say, before you so rudely interrupted me, that I still have deep feelings for you."

Kendall looked at him skeptically, but his heart skipped a beat.

"If you can forgive my appalling behavior, that is." James added.

Kendall frowned at that. He couldn't help the next words that slipped through his pink lips.

"How _you_ have been acting? Have you not noticed my childish sulking?" He asked incredulously.

James smiled slightly, happy that Kendall didn't seem so mad at him anymore.

"You were upset, which I totally understand."

James leaned in closer, placing a hand on his knee and murmuring into his ear.

Kendall shivered.

"You move me, Kendall. So much so that I had to pretend that I was fine, when on the inside I was constantly longing for you."

The younger boy was frozen in place, his breath quickening.

"It must have seemed like I didn't care at all, which must have been awful for you, but I do care. Way, _way_ too much for my own good."

James was pressed flush up against Kendall now, his voice a bare whisper.

"Look at me." The brunet breathed.

Kendall turned his head to the right, soul seeming to drown in those gorgeous hazel eyes.

"Yes?" Kendall murmured.

Instead of speaking James leaned in to kiss Kendall softly. The kiss started out chaste and questioning, but Kendall soon deepened it. James pushed him away softly, speaking against the other's lips.

"Do you forgive me, then?"

Kendall leaned down to kiss James' jaw and cheek and any other spot he could reach.

"Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" Kendall laughed freely, and James connected their lips once more.

* * *

**A/N: Reference 1: "You move me, Kendall." Comes from the "You move me, Kurt" scene in the episode of Glee where Kurt and Blane become Klain :D**

**"Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" Is a thing Jane says at the end of Pride and Prejudice, the 2004 movie.**

**Lastly is Mrs. Umbridge from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. **

**Hope you liked the chapter! 3333**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**A/N: Hi-sies guy-sies! (This will prob. be an awfully long authors note)**

**Whelp, here's another chapter! I'm sorry that it's kind of a filler chapter but I felt like it would be better to upload this one fast than to let you wait a really long time for a lot more. I asked myself what I would have wanted and that's what I thought, but if you prefer really long chapters then just tell me in a review please!**

**Lot's of love to _BTRaholic, Damian94, Whittyness, Mr. President 63, Sassy Kames, JamesxKendallxKames _and my beta .carlospena93 for the really motivating reviews! They really are lovely :3**

**_it'sallguchicauseyol_o asked if there would be smut and how old K and J are. Kenny is 16 and James is 18. Sorry for not mentioning that before. Do you want smut? Like, full on smut? I wasn't planning on it but if you really want smut just tell me in a review and I'll follow your advice :) sooo... tell me what you think, follow/favorite, but most importantly: ENJOY! 33**

"Mmmm… Stop. I wanna sleep…"

Kendall giggled, ignoring his protests and nibbling at James' throat again. He bit down hard under James ear and then flicked his tongue over the red patch.

James shivered, rolling over to face the younger boy peeking cheekily over at him from the edge of the bed.

"Good morning,Kendall." He said, smiling drowsily.

Kendall leaned in to kiss his jaw instead of answering. James hummed as Kendall placed feather light kisses over his shoulders and chest, barely touching the bare flesh of the boy who was now beneath him.

James ran his hands up and down Kendall's back as he got up to straddle him, never removing his lips from the brunet's adams apple.

"Can't you wake me up like this every day?" James said, his voice still slightly raspy from sleep.

Kendall licked a long stripe up to James' mouth, kissing him softly.

"I thought you wanted to sleep?" He said against the older boy's lips.

James ran his hands down to Kendall's bum, tapping it in an uneven rhythm.

"This is better." He said.

Kendall kissed James hard. The older boy ran his tongue over Kendall's lips, asking for entrance. It was granted immediately, and once he had taken control of the kiss James suddenly flipped over, pinning Kendall on the bed.

The blond let out a surprised huff and started to complain, but James cut him off by kissing him first on the lips, biting them almost harshly before copying Kendall's earlier ministrations. He nibbled his way down Kendall's neck, and then sat up, motioning for Kendall to do the same. When he did James quickly lifted the plaid shirt over his head.

Kendall frowned, keeping it off nonetheless.

"James, where did all this energy come from? Also, you know I'm not ready for sex yet."

James rolled his eyes, pushing Kendall back onto the bed and crawling like a predator until he was hovering above the smaller boy's slender body.

"Relax," He said, running his hands over the lightly defined muscles on Kendall's chest "This is just… something else."

Kendall got the gist of what James meant when he started placing wet kisses on the blonde's chest in a long trail down to his pajama pants. He nibbled the skin above the drawstring of the thin material, looking up at Kendall seductively.

"Is this okay?" He asked huskily.

Kendall nodded jerkily, the air in his lungs leaving him with a rush as James rubbed his cheek over Kendall's fast-growing member.

"You're going to feel so good, trust me"

James slowly started to pull the pants down the other boy's legs, and Kendall lifted his hips to help.

"St-stop looking." Kendall said, blushing as James took in the fact that Kendall slept without underwear.

James chuckled lightly at the embarrassed boy before slowly taking his length into his mouth.

Kendall moaned, fisting and un-fisting his hands in the sheets as James ran his tongue over the slit, tasting the beads of pre-come that had gathered there. The brunet backed up a little, getting more comfortable before he slowly started sucking, bobbing his head up and down and going down further every time.

It continued in this way for another few minutes; Kendall writhing in ecstasy while James suckled, tickled and teased. Soon enough Kendall's whines were becoming high pitched and urgent until he reached his peak, shouting James' name as he came.

James himself was painfully hard, but he ignored it as he swallowed the last few drops Kendall could give him. When Kendall was done James crept back up to cuddle the sweaty body of his boyfriend.

"Not bad, eh?" The brunet said, slightly breathless.

Kendall smiled, him being the drowsy one this time.

"Not bad at all." He said, pecking James on the lips before snuggling into spoon with his boyfriend.

* * *

"Jamie! Kendall! Wait up!" Amanda and Jenny shouted, racing down the path to catch up with the two boys.

"Hello, girlies! What's up?" Kendall asked cheerfully when they fell into step with each other.

"We're going to the same place as you, dummy." Jenny said, motioning to their beach bags.

Kendall noticed their bikinis under their summer dresses and clapped excitedly.

"Yay! You should totally join our splashing contest!" He cheered, taking James' hand and swinging it freely.

The two girls looked at each other uncertainly.

"I hate to break it to you, Kendall, but we don't want to get our hair wet." Amanda said, placing a hand on his arm.

James snorted.

"You're just saying that 'cause you're a chicken." He said.

Jenny looked at him and narrowed her eyes into slits.

"Wow, suddenly I don't care about my hair as much. It is _on._" She said, and they all ran down to the beach, shedding their clothes before they jumped into the water.

* * *

Kendall was lying in the sun on his towel, drying off and thinking.

He had never had many friends, and then, suddenly, he had several. What had changed? Kendall? The people around him? Or was it James forcing him to go out once in a while? All the rejection drama and other things had made Kendall forget most of his summer goals, like joining in some of Kelly's musical arts classes, or having some teenage experiences. Kendall had hardly ticked off any of the things on his "things to do before the summer is over" list. He had gotten a boyfriend, his first real kiss, _and _his first blowjob, however, which was nice, to say the least.

Kendall blushed, vividly recalling the events of that very same morning. It had felt so good, so much better than what he had expected. So much better than how it felt when he pleasured himself whilst reading yaoi or other things he could find on the internet.

Kendall was slightly amazed that James would do that for him. It had been so good, almost indescribable.

Suddenly it hit him.

James couldn't have become that good without practice, right? How much practice had James actually had? Would he laugh at Kendall's level of experience? Because he was about 0.001 percent ready to have sex anytime soon. The brunet had said he was okay with waiting for Kendall like the brilliant boyfriend he was, but what if by waiting he meant a week or so? Kendall was thinking of waiting a year. Or ten.

Thanks to his extremely uninhibited sex-ed teacher from middle school he knew _all_ about the birds and the bees and everything in-between. That teacher, had also taken it upon himself to not only teach the disgusted class of twelve year-olds about how it worked, but also how a person's first time was. For that particular matter he had decided to show a little documentary on both straight _and_ gay couple's first time and what it was like for them.

Kendall could remember all too well what one of the gay men said about sex. _"It was like being impaled on a rusty spear."_ The boy in the documentary had said with a grimace.

The blond was most definitely scarred for life.

"Whatcha thinking about, sexy?" James asked, flopping down onto the towel beside the frowning blond.

"Being impaled on a rusty spear." He replied, rolling onto his side and smiling.

James reached out and ran his hand through Kendall's silky hair, smiling back at the boy who he cherished so dearly.

"Liar." He said. "Funny comment though."

Kendall shook his head indignantly.

"'M not a liar!" He said, turning his head to bite the hand by his head.

James yelped.

"Hey! That hurt!" He pouted and Kendall smiled again, rolling his eyes.

"Sorry that I'm not sorry. And it was actually the truth."

"Well I don't get it." James said, sounding like a small kid refusing to understand a math formula.

"It's just this thing…" Kendall trailed off, slightly embarrassed.

"What thing?" James asked. If it was something that made Kendall frown he'd have to get rid of the problem. He could hardly stand seeing Kendall with his frowny-thinky face on.

"So why the big frown?" He asked again.

Kendall rolled his eyes at his impatient nature.

"This one guy in a movie said that his first time bottoming with another guy was like being impaled on a rusty spear." He blushed furiously once the blunt words had left his mouth. He knew James wouldn't shut up about it once he had admitted it, so he wasn't going to prolong the inevitable.

James, however, burst out laughing.

"_Impaled on a rusty spear?! _Oh god, that is just_ too_ funny." James literally had to wipe the tears away as he giggled, but he soon had his emotions under control again when he saw Kendall's honestly agitated face.

"Wait, you don't honestly think it's like that for everyone do you?" The brunet asked incredulously, propping himself up on his elbow to be able to see Kendall properly.

Kendall shrugged, embarrassed.

"Well… that's wha-what I've heard… Wasn't it like that for you?"

James snorted.

"_God_ no. My first time was obviously not the best ever -it never is- but I didn't mind it. In fact I kind of enjoyed it." He smiled and leaned down to peck Kendall on the lips. "I'm going to make your first time totally awesome and unforgettable."

Kendall smiled, but then squirmed slightly, aware of their friends listening in.

"James!" He hissed, "The girls are _right behind me_!"

"Don't mind us." Jenny called out.

"Yeah, we already know you're a virgin, Kenny-boo." Amanda continued in a lazy tone.

James sat up.

"Mind your own, Mandy." He said. That girl was always butting in!

Jenny joined in the conversation.

"But Kendall, if you're so hot, why are you a virgin?" She asked in a silly tone of voice, tilting her head and acting like she was completely ignorant.

Kendall blushed, but Amanda giggled at the dark-haired girl's joke.

"Oh my god, Jenny. You can't just ask people why they're virgins!" James said gaily, pretending to be shocked. He placed a hand over the 'O' of his mouth and stared at her disbelievingly.

Amanda held her stomach as she physically rolled around from laughter, trying to spit words out in between gails of hysterics.**  
**

"Oh my god, you guys are almost too gay to function!"

Kendall, wanting to join in on the fun, sat up and puffed out his chest, beating his fists on the muscles as if he was Tarzan.

"Are you insulting my manliness?" He asked in a comically gruff voice.

This had everyone laughing hysterically, and James found himself pulling the kid with the big eyebrows against him, kissing his temple lovingly.

* * *

"Yo, James!"

James twisted in his seat to see his friend Mark strutting up to their table in the cafeteria.

"Hey, Mark." Kendall greeted as the older guy sat down opposite him.

"What's up, bro?" James asked him.

Mark's eyes flickered uncertainly to Kendall before he spoke.

"Not much. Uh, James, can I talk to you alone for a few minutes?" He said, looking around to see if anyone was listening.

It was slightly unnecessary, as the lunch room was more than half empty and the three boys were seated at their own table.

James frowned. "Dude, Kendall knows everything I know; you can say it in front of him."

Mark raised his eyebrows. "You sure?"

James rolled his eyes. "_Yes_, I'm sure."

The black-haired boy huffed, turning to James and ignoring Kendall rudely as he spoke.

"The senior's party is tonight." He said.

James' eyes widened.

"No way!" He turned to the blond who was only picking at the salad in front him. "Kenny! Be my date?"

Kendall's face lit up like a Christmas tree.

_Aww… He is so sweet!_ He thought, smiling. But then he caught the thunderous expression on Mark's face.

"What. The. Fuck?" He asked. "It's not called the _secret_ senior beach party for nothing!"

James looked sheepish.

"I just don't want to go without him! He's my boyfriend." Kendall let out an embarrassing squeak as James hoisted him onto his lap and kissed his cheek. "I already invited him anyway."

Mark whined. "But _duuude._ That destroys the whole principle of the thing! No offense, Kendall." He added almost as an afterthought.

The brunet rolled his eyes, resting his head on Kendall's shoulder and squeezing his waist.

"Whatever. I just won't go then."

Kendall felt guilty at that. James was being adorable trying to get Kendall to come to the party, but the blond didn't want to deny James the company of his friends. They didn't have to spend _every_ evening together. They already lived together and spent almost every minute that they weren't either supervising activities or attending them in each other's company.

"James," Kendall said, nudging James softy with his elbow. "yo-you can go without me. It's fine. You deserve some fun."

James seemed to melt, going in to nuzzle the crook of Kendall's neck before speaking.

"But being with _you_ is fun! You are too sweet, you know that?"

Kendall's reply was interrupted but Mark sticking two fingers in his mouth and making a gagging sound.

"Get a room! When did you two become so _in love?"_ He said, pretending to cover his eyes in disgust.

The older teen glared at Mark.

"You're just jealous because you're not getting any." He said smugly.

The dark-haired boy raised his eyebrows.

"And you are?" He asked.

One side of James mouth quirked up at the blond's blush. Kendall couldn't muster up enough courage to speak up and correct him, but James probably wouldn't have appreciated it much anyway.

"I get more than I need. And more than you'll ever get." James retaliated.

Mark huffed.

"Fine. Kendall, you can come to the party. Just don't expect me to tell everyone that it was me who said it was okay. George will kill me…"

"Awesome!" James said happily, squeezing Kendall's middle again. "No problem, I won't mention it."

Mark smiled begrudgingly.

"Thanks, bro. You owe me though!" He said, pointing at James.

The brunet stood grabbed the other staff member's arm.

"Just one more thing!" James said. "Who's George?"

Mark sat back down.

"You haven't heard of him?" He asked incredulously. "He's, like, the craziest guy in the state."

James raised his eyebrows and Kendall went back to eating his chocolate muffin, not especially interested in their conversation.

"Damn, you're so out of touch." Mark said, shaking his head. "He's only about sixteen, about Kendall's age, but he has access to the _craziest_ stuff, man; booze, weed, even _acid_ for fuck's sake. He's been bringing shit to the latest parties, and he said he would bring some stuff to the party tonight. That's one of the reasons why I was so reluctant to let Kendall here tag along."

Kendall looked up at his name.

"Hmm? Sorry, what did I miss?" He asked the caramel colored boy opposite him.

"Are you comfortable with some drugs?" Mark asked bluntly.

Kendall's eyes widened. How could he not have noticed what the other two were talking about?

"Su-sure." He stuttered, not wanting to sound like a wimp.**  
**

"You don't have to do any. I won't. Drugs aren't my thing." James assured the younger boy. He had felt Kendall clench up in fear when he thought he might have to do something he wasn't comfortable with.

"Th-thank you, James." Kendall said awkwardly.

The couple smiled at each other lovingly as the other boy walked off in disgust at their PDA.

* * *

"Hi! I-I'm Kendall." He said, introducing himself to the shifty guy before him.

"George." The boy replied, lifting the hood of his black sweater up and shaking his leg.

Kendall tried to be polite, reaching a hand out and waiting for George to get off his sand-covered bum. He couldn't help feeling a slight stab of hurt as he ignored him.

"Kendall! Come over here a second!"

Kendall looked up as he saw Mark calling out to him from where he stood in the center of the group with James and a few other senior's over eighteen.

"Uh… What's up?" Kendall asked as he walked barefoot across the cool sand of the lake's beach, stepping over a few giggling girls sharing a bottle of something.

James placed his arm over Kendall's shoulders and the younger boy leaned instinctively into it, sliding his own hand to the brunet's waist.

"James and Peter here say you've been going Armstrong's for over ten years. That true?" One of the guys Kendall had been introduced to before asked, sipping from his plastic cup.

Kendall shifted from foot to foot. This was usually where people asked why they hadn't seen Kendall before and he had to explain that he had been hiding in his room the whole time.

"Y-yeah, it's true…" Kendall mumbled, blushing at the next obvious question that he was sure was going to follow.

"How come you haven't met my bro, George, before then?" Peter said, looking questioningly at the blond by his side.

Kendall sure hadn't expected that question.

"Well, uh, I-I don't know." He stammered.

Damn, he hadn't had time to prepare for this question. "What's his l-last name?" He continued, saving himself from _too_ much embarrassment, at least.

Peter looked uncertainly at Mark.

"David, I think…" Mark trailed off.

James was frowning. "No. No, that's not quite right. Close, but not quite right." He said and everybody frowned, trying to remember his real name.

Peter snapped his fingers.

"I got it!" He exclaimed happily. "Davis! His name is George Davis!"

The others cheered at his superior memory, but Kendall remained still, suddenly unable to convince his jaw muscles to work.

"So, Kendall," Mark said, calling attention back to the blond. "do you know him?"

Kendall snapped his mouth shut, the loud crack of his teeth colliding echoing inside his head. He nodded slowly, unsure of his answer.

"You-you could say so." He said, not being able to stop himself from turning around and gawking at how much George had changed. He voiced his thoughts to the group. "Shit. He sure has changed."

Peter beamed. "So you know him already, huh? Were you guys friends?"

Kendall shook his head.

"Don't you remember him?" He asked Mark who he knew had been at the camp the same year Davis had.

"No." He replied, going to fill up his cup with a clear liquid from a plastic bottle that Kendall was sure didn't contain water. "Should I remember him?"

Kendall half smiled, still quite shy around all these people who seemed so grown up compared to him.

"I'm, erhm, kinda surprised that you don't. He had quite a reputation."

The boys raised their eyebrows at that.

"A reputation for what, if I may ask?" Peter said, leaning in as if Kendall would be telling only him.

The blond bit his lip and in a sudden bout of bravery, he leaned up on his tip-toes and stage whispered into Peter's ear.

"Bed wetting." He said, hoping that George hadn't acquired a violent personality since that awkward summer when they were bunk-mates.

The boy's all looked over at the boy sitting alone in the sand, not being able to picture the gangster as the bed-wetting little boy they once knew.

"Holy crap…They sure grow up fast." James said, imitating an annoying relative at a family reunion.

They all laughed, the joke breaking the shocked tension.

The whole cluster of boys seemed to take to Kendall very quickly after that, not seeming to mind that he was younger. He had proved himself, in a way, by knowing something they didn't; having something cool to talk about. Add to that the fact that James was his boyfriend and he would probably kick the ass of anyone trying to mess with his little blond, as he liked to call him.

"I think I'm gonna go find some_ ladies_." Mark said, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Peter coughed twice, inserting the word "douche bag" in-between them.

"But _first_," Mark continued, glaring at Peter, "we should get Kenny here a drink. Why hasn't anybody offered you one yet?"

"Uh, because he's underage?" Peter said, raising his eyebrows at Mark as if to say "_Duh!". _

Mark rolled his eyes. "So are you, dumbass!" He said, smacking him atop the head as he made his way over to the plastic bag some of the older girls had brought with them.

"Urgh, Bailey's." Mark said as he retrieved the bottle, wrinkling his nose and putting it back. "Here's a real men's drink!" He exclaimed, flexing his muscles and grunting like "a real man" as he pulled out a bottle of Bulleit Bourbon.

The rest of the boys laughed and eagerly thrusted their cups into his reach, asking for a refill of whatever it was they wanted.

Kendall was suddenly in a very awkward situation. He had never drunk anything but some champagne and beer in his life. He really didn't know what to have or how much. He didn't even know what bourbon _was_. How the hell was he supposed to answer Mark's question?

"Hey, Kendall, what are you having?"

* * *

**This chapter felt... meh~**

**I took a few things from the 2004 movie Mean Girls :P My favorite movie! "GO YOU!" if you found one or more! :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

******(A/N) Hi Guys! I'm SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry for the long wait :( I just haven't been feeling it so much lately, but I finished chapter 7 at last! Please don't hate me for some of the stuff in this chapter. This is kinda me explaining and apologizing about it:**

**I'm most definitely not promoting under aged drinking or drug taking in any shape or form. If anything I'm warning people against it. Please don't sue me! (_Can_ you sue me for that? Probably not :P) I have no experience actually taking any drugs myself, though I have been around a lot of it when I have been in Christiania in Copenhagen (Denmark) where marijuana is legal. It is quite a nice place to visit in the summer if you aren't squeamish about the smell of pot, as most of the houses are covered in beautiful graffiti and stuff :D**

**Read, review, but most importantly ENJOY!**

"Hey, Kendall, what are you having?"

"Whatever you're having." He said smoothly, his voice not matching his sentiments in the slightest.

_Oh my god Did I just pull that off? _Kendall thought, doing an improvised happy-dance in his head. _Woohoo! I did it! Hooray, I survived!_ He cheered mentally while doing a celebratory mashed potato dance.

"One shot of liquid gold coming right up!" Mark shouted, lifting his bottle up like a trophy.

Kendall sat down on a nearby blanket, tracing the scratchy, wooly fiber with his fingertips as his heart beat like a drum and his lips wanted to smile. He might actually be able to enjoy this evening if it kept going this well.

"Here you go!" Peter said cheerfully, grabbing the drink from Mark and handing it to the blond as he sat down beside him.

Kendall could feel the warmth radiating off of Peter's bare arms; he was sitting so close. He didn't mind, however. It was nice to finally have some friends. He kept telling himself this as Peter placed a hand on his knee, getting awfully cozy.

Kendall noticed James glaring from where he stood talking to a couple of girls. He also noticed when his gorgeous boyfriend came stalking over to where they sat.

"What are you little boys up to?" The brunet asked, plopping himself down beside Kendall.

"Not much." Peter replied with a grin, the expression faltering as he noted James' pointed stare and fake smile directed at the hand-on-knee situation.

The redhead slid his hand off the joint discreetly, avoiding James' eyes. The jealous boyfriend himself let the sour expression roll off his face, a real grin replacing it as he looked at Kendall, promptly gripping his neck and helping himself to his blond's plush lips and tongue.

Kendall was torn between his addiction to James' lips and the fact that Peter was _right there_, politely averting his eyes and edging away from the passionate couple.

James had some jealousy issues, it seemed.

The awkward situation was interrupted by a team of girls turning up the volume on a portable radio with extra speakers someone had brought to the beach. A few people formed a small group, indicating where the make-shift dance floor was. The girls turned the volume up higher and higher, until they could feel it in their bones. Luckily, the trees surrounding the beach and camp stopped the music from being heard too clearly in the rest of the camp.

After forcing himself to wrench his lips from Kendall's swollen ones James enthusiastically asked his boyfriend to dance, and although Kendall was slightly hesitant, he was soon swaying and moving to the beat of all the summer hits with new-found confidence.

He danced solely for and with James for the first few songs, but after a while he was pulled into the center of the gyrating mass of young adults by a few giggling staff members.

"Come play with us…" Three girls who just _had_ to be triplets joked, placing their hands all over Kendall's body and pulling him flush up to theirs. Kendall resisted meekly at first, trying to pry their fingers off his butt and chest, but then suddenly he felt James' presence behind him, swatting one of the girls' hands off the blond's hips and placing his own in their place.

That was when Kendall relaxed again, sinking back into the warm heat of his partner like a cat falling into a bathtub.

They stayed like that for almost an hour, jumping, bumping and grinding, and when they couldn't take it anymore both Kendall and James fell onto a stray blanket in a big, sweaty heap.

They lay together peacefully for a bit, catching their breath, but as soon as Kendall had cooled down he started to get cold, shivering repeatedly.

"Oh, are you cold?" James asked sweetly, turning to face Kendall and rubbing his goose-bump covered arm.

"N-o. I-I'm finne." The blond answered, obviously not fine at all.

"I'd give you my sweater but I didn't bring one. Want me to go get another blanket?"

Kendall nodded with a weak smile, pressing his hands into the heat of his armpits and curling up into a ball, snuggling into himself. The fact that he might look childish didn't even occur to him at this point, the alcohol he had consumed not going undetected.

He lifted his face up to greet James with a smile as he approached, but, alas, James had no extra blanket, sitting down with an apologetic expression as he explained why.

"Sorry, babe, apparently the Jennifer's thought it would be a good idea to wrap Francis in the blankets and roll him and his cocoon into the river, shouting 'Fly or die, you developing butterfly!'"

Kendall giggled at that, picturing the triplet's pushing Francis into the lake with a laugh. His own laugh, however, was soon cut off by a shiver combined with a sneeze.

James squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.

"I'll go get you a jacket back in my cabin. Why don't you go sit with Mark and Peter and the others for a moment? I think they were going to light a fire." He said.

"Y-yeah, okay. Thanks, James."Kendall said, unrolling himself from his fetal position and scooting closer to peck James on the lips to show his appreciation.

James smiled, getting up and jogging towards the cabin.

_Into the woods and far away. _Kendall thought to himself._

"C'mon, everybody does it!"

"It's totally a vital camp experience!"

"Oh my god, just do it already! Otherwise you'll always be wondering what it could have been like."

Things of that sort were flying in Kendall's direction as some older kids lit a joint. He recoiled as the hot tip was shoved in his face.

"Guys, don't pressure him!" A girl with impressively big hair told the group, specifically Mark as he was the one holding it and physically forcing it onto Kendall.

"N-no. It's okay…" Kendall said with his normal wide-eyed gaze and timid stutter. He had lost control of the small piece of the situation he thought he had _long_ ago.

"Too bad someone as cute as you is such a baby" A guy to Kendall's left muttered darkly, and Kendall whipped his head to the side to see the speaker, flushing darker still at the compliment and insult combination.

George was the one who had given such a confusing message, and he seemed slightly mad that someone who obviously didn't appreciate the stuff he had brought was getting it forced upon him for free. There were so many people who could pay him good money for it.

"Okay…Just once. I-I'll try one puff." Kendall refused to be a baby. He wasn't a kid. He could do this, he told himself.

"Alrighty!" Mark exclaimed, handing the joint to the trembling blond.

_This can't be _that_ bad, right? _Kendall told himself. _I mean, they do it all the time, so it has to be okay._

He lifted the end of the wispy thing to his lips and breathed in an experimental puff.

"_What the fuhuh-fudgel!" _He exclaimed, spluttering and trying to get the burning sensation out of his lungs. For some reason he had expected it to be sweet in both taste and smell.

He quickly grabbed the nearest cup, chugging down the beer within until he had recoveredslightly. When he did stop he looked up to see everyone's laughing eyes staring at him in amusement.

"Well, that went well." Mark stated sarcasticly, making the blond blush and the group let out a guffaw.

"C-can I try again? That-that last part was totally on purpose… or something…" Kendall said, reaching back for the joint Mark had retrieved from his grasp earlier.

The dark-haired boy held the joint further away from Kendall's reaching hand, tutting.

"Uh-uh-uh!" Mark sing-songed. "Are you sure you can handle it this time? Otherwise it's our turn first."

Kendall rolled his eyes, trying to put on a brave face.

"Yes, I'm sure. Now hand it to me."

_Oh god, why am I doing this? _He rambled in his mind. _Why can't James get back from the cabin? Why is he taking so long? _Kendall lifted the joint to his lips once again. _He was only going to go get a jacket-this is stupid-this is peer pressure and everything my mom warned me against_ _I think you can die from this if you react badly to it-this is stupid- _He took another shallow breath of the smoke. _Ow, damn that burns-this is stupid-I don't care what they think-_

"Keep it in, Kenny! You can do it!" Some girls cheered, interrupting Kendall's dramatic mental monologue.

He tried to do what they said, but eventually he had to release it, slightly proud that he could stifle his cough this time. By the time he had analyzed his feelings he came to the conclusion that he didn't feel any different yet.

He _did_ however feel a large hand clapping him on the back roughly and turned around to see some George looking at him with a grin, but also with a slight glint of something other than happiness in his eyes.

"Good job, Kenny." The greasy boy said mockingly, running his hands over the young boy's shoulders.

Kendall smiled uneasily."Th-thank you…"

"D'you want some more?" George asked, handing Kendall a joint he hadn't seen the others having.

"Uh… No thanks. I- uh. The others are just smoking that one, so… that would be a waste." Kendall said, inventing as he went along.

He wasn't quite comfortable around George, he was starting to creep the blond out with his body language. His smile said _why, hello there, sweety_, but his eyes said _I want to kill you and eat your skin with peanut butter_,_ MOHAHAHAAA. _

Okay, maybe not that creepy. But still.

George just smiled wider.

"Well I've lit it now. It wouldn't be very polite of you to just leave it."

Kendall's eyes went impossibly wider.

"O-okay…" He reached his hand out to take the joint from the leering boy, hoping that it wasn't too strong. The first one was bad enough.

He inhaled some smoke once more.

"Have some more, it can't hurt…" George said with a gleam in his eyes.

Kendall had already taken one two more puffs when Mark noticed that he wasn't smoking the same thing as them.

"Duude! What's that? Why aren't 'cha sharing?" Mark called out.

Kendall got up off his and George's blanket and leaned forward as he knelt to be able to hand the joint to Mark and Peter's outstretched hands.

"Here, you have some then-"

"NO!"

Kendall felt George's rough hand around his waist, pulling him back, the blond too shocked to react. He looked at George questioningly, tilting his head to the side and trying not to squirm as the hand by his middle squeezed enough to bruise and then went on to trace small circles with his fingers on Kendall's slightly exposed stomach, making the blond insanely uncomfortable as soon as he understood what was happening.

"He already has his own shit." George assured, but Kendall still felt like the gangster was lying.

Peter seemed a bit confused at George's behavior, but he would survive, Kendall assumed. The blond shrugged, taking anther reluctant puff when George offered the Kendall the joint **(SPECIFY! He couldn't hand the joint a joint) **he had ripped out of his hand back to him.

He still didn't feel any different drugs wise. He probably needed some more if he was going to react like the others and fit in. That was pretty much what he was there to do, apart from keeping James company and ticking things off his ever-expanding bucket list.

Seeing Kendall take several more long drags on the joint George ripped it out of his grasp.

"Hey, slow down there, tiger." He warned semi-jokingly.

Kendall attempted a retort, but he found himself rather lightheaded and unable to put together a coherent string of words all of a sudden. He was too far gone to contemplate how he had gotten like this or who was to blame by this point.

"Hey, guys! Wait, what the hell have you done to Kendall?!"

Kendall turned his head to the left sluggishly when he heard Jo's agitated voice moving nearer to the young adults clustered on the woolly blankets. He raised his hand to wave at the girl storming toward them.

"He-helluu, Josefina…" He managed, snorting at his own seemingly brilliant sense of humor.

Kendall watched in confusion as Jo whirled around, looking at each member of staff accusingly.

"Okay, who did this?" She raged, kneeling beside Kendall and helping him sit up properly, as he was starting to sway on the spot. Even sitting down was a challenge.

Mark shrugged. "He seemed pretty enthusiastic about it by himself. George even told him to slow down. Didn't ya, George?"

George nodded nonchalantly, pretending not to be interested in their conversation.

In a fit of wonder, Kendall clutched Jo's arm, pointing at the sky.

"L-look, Jo-Jo! A llama!"

Jo shook him off.

"Well someone obviously gave him something other than just the alcohol or marijuana because I have _never_ seen someone react like this." Jo said, tugging Kendall's pointing hand and arm back down to his side before he could hurt someone with his flailing.

"Kendall?" She asked, trying to get the younger boy's attention. "Did you take something bad? Did they force anything onto you? Kendall! Listen to me! We're going to find the nurse or James _right now_, okay? Do you understand? Or you could end up real sick, you hear?"

But said teen remained oblivious, falling back onto the blanket to peer up at the "Pearly-whirly stars", as he called them.

Jo sighed and huffed as she tried to get him to come with her time and time again, but to no avail.

"He probably just reacts differently to this stuff. Geez, take a chill pill, woman." Peter said, rolling his eyes.

George remained silent, refusing to take responsibility for anything.

"Fine! I'll go get Frank and James so they can help me get this mess back to his cabin as you guys obviously have no respect whatsoever for his well being!" As the blonde stormed off Mark and George started laughing hysterically, setting Kendall off even if he didn't understand what was going on.

"She was PMS'ing _so_ hard, man!" Mark guffawed.

As Jo was taking such a long time getting help a few people started wondering if she would come back at all.

"Guys?" George spoke up. "Kendall will probably crash soon. I think I'll take him to his cabin and then go find Jo and tell her he's fine before he passes out here."

A few girls "aww"edat his considerate nature, but most people were quite out of it at this point, nobody noticing that George hadn't drunk or taken anything yet and was currently hoisting a delirious Kendall over his black-sweater-clad shoulder, grinning secretively.

"Wheeee!" Kendall exclaimed, banging his hands on George's back like a drum, enjoying the ride as they passed through a patch of trees to the south of the camp. "Georgieeeee… this isn't the way-ay to my cabin…" The smaller blond's face rearranged itself into a mask of confusion and then tiredness. "I'm tired." He whined, voicing his feeling.

He heard George laughing humorlessly.

"You're right; this isn't the way to your cabin. And don't fight the tiredness. Just fall asleep and then someone might find you tomorrow when I'm… done with you."

Kendall didn't understand, having lost all common sense along with the control of most of his muscles and his energy. He did, however, complain slightly when he was tossed onto the dirt behind what looked to him a colorful Berlin wall, but which was most likely the stony back of a cabin by the lake.

He gazed through heavy-lidded eyes as the shady boy dressed in a cliché outfit of all black kneeled beside him, ripping open his shirt to reveal a thin, white tank-top.

"Let's get this off you." George muttered darkly, his actions contradicting his almost soft words as he ripped the tank-top off the boy slowly falling asleep beneath him, scraping his sharp nails against his tan skin.

Kendall mumbled incoherently, letting his head fall to the side. He just felt someone unbuckling his trousers before he drifted off to sleep.

**(A/N) Quick question! Should J beat George up or make K press charges? Review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi there! This chapter is very short! Sorreeeh! I just wrote about a quarter of the chapter because I really have to tell you guys some things in this authors note! First of all: I'm heading to Thailand tomorrow! I'm sooooo excited! Secondly! This chapter is unbetad (unedited) because, well, I'm leaving tomorrow and my editor Christa couldn't get it back to me on time :c She's awesome though! Thirdly! I'll be gone for circa two weeks. I think we'll be back around the 2'nd of January, but I'll have to ask. I might write a lot whilst I'm there though! So it's not all bad I suppose :) **

**I hope you like this super-short chapter! I'd love to hear your opinion on how I should proceed with the story, too, so please leave me a review with all your ideas :D Really, I'm pretty much open to anything!**

**That's all I think... Love you guys! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 8**

White light. A blinding, white light.

_Am I dead? Am I dying? But… I can feel my __toes._ _Oh, I can move them too. And my legs. Where am I? It's too bright._

"I think he's waking up! Quick, call the nurse!"

_Who's that? I can't remember his name… but I think I love him. Wait, who am I? Kendall. I'm Kendall Knight. And that voice belongs to James. My boyfriend. At least now I know I don't have amnesia. Phew! But I have a headache, and I can't move my head. Why can't I move my head? Ow, my whole body hurts. _

_Is that a… hand? On my face? And that beautiful voice is speaking again… it's so pretty… I should probably listen to it, though, instead on focusing on it's beauty…_

"Kendall, baby, please, can you hear me? You're fine, you're going to be fine."

Kendall blinked, trying to move his head and finding it strapped down by something.

"J-James?" He was very hoarse, contrasting greatly to the honey-sweet voice of his partner and friend. "Where am I?" The blond said.

He felt James' hand stroking his forehead and then suddenly he could see James' face as he leaned over Kendall, his head blocking what Kendall now saw was a bright fluorescent light, creating a halo around the brunet's hair.

"Hey there, sweetie." James said, smiling adoringly down at the younger boy who seemed somehow smaller in his current state.

"Am I dead?" Kendall asked, furrowing his brow.

He had a killer headache. Surely you felt good in heaven? Or maybe this was hell? He had never been especially religious. Maybe it was the afterlife!

James chuckled breathily.

"No, Kay, you're just at the nurse's office."

"Oh... Why?"

James pressed his lips softly to the place where his hands had rested moments ago, trying to kiss the frown off that beautiful face.

"James?" Kendall asked, frowning some more.

"Yes?" James replied, straightening up a bit.

Kendall squirmed a bit, trying to free himself from the things keeping him down.

"Why can't I move?"

"You were thrashing so much that we had to tie you down before you hurt yourself." A cool voice replied from the other sound of the room, the sharp squeak of nurse's shoes on linoleum accompanying the noise.

He felt James hands scrabbling about his ears, trying to release him from the band holding his forehead firmly to the table. The clasp released with a click as he unfastened it.

Kendall craned his head to see a fit, well postured nurse who looked like a no-nonsense kind of man.

"Oh…Hi, Nurse Charlie. Why am I here? I can't really remember anything happening." He asked quietly, still confused and very tired.

The man who was obviously the nurse started fiddling about with the clasps holding Kendall's arms down.

"How much _do_ you remember?" The blond nurse asked, grabbing Kendall's wrist and feeling his pulse. He went through all of this like he had done it a hundred times before, knowing each step off by heart.

"Umm…" Kendall looked at James uncertainly. He wasn't quite sure how much he was allowed to say.

James nodded, indicating that it was okay to go on.

"You have to be honest, Kendall." He assured, making Kendall feel like his boyfriend could read his mind.

Kendall nodded, struggling to sit up, but the nurse pushed him down again.

"Here, let me just adjust your bed." He said, pressing a few buttons on a small remote control.

The head of the bed lifted Kendall into a semi-comfortable position, allowing him to see the others properly.

"Well… how much do you guys know?" He started, wanting to see how much he had to say.

James shrugged.

"Well… Do you remember the party?"

Kendall nodded slowly, racking his brain for the memory.

"A bit, I think."

"I'm the one that got you here. Nurse Charlie says that when I brought you in you were high or had taken a drug of some sort, add to that you were also very drunk. Did you know there has been almost no signal for telephones here the past few days? Well, Nurse Charlie said that by the time we managed to call an ambulance, you could already be in a really bad place. He wanted to make an immediate inspection and also mentioned that if you turned out fine you probably wouldn't want your parents knowing, anyways. He does recommend that you go to the doctors soon though, as that is really where you should be now. You're real cool, aren't 'cha Charles? He didn't want you to get in too much trouble." James said, grinning. "I had to tell Charlie about the party and everything, by the way, but he says he already knew. Apparently the entire faculty knows, they just let us have our fun."

Kendall was staring at James, mouth agape. That was the thing that struck him the most.

"I was _high?_ I've _never_ been high!" Kendall said incredulously, trying to think of the last thing he remembered and working back on that.

"I know." James said seriously. "We think you may have been drugged. Can you tell me what the last thing you remember was?"

"I think…" Kendall cleared his throat, his voice breaking. "The last thing I remember is probably dancing with you, James." He blushed slightly, his tired state allowing that, if not a clear voice.

James smiled, letting out a small "aaww".

The nurse -Charlie- stood up.

"Well, it seems you might have lost a bit of memory, as is expected from this kind of situation. I'll let you two talk privately now. But James," He added, turning around in the doorway to leave with one last comment. "Please keep it short, you must still be feeling rather tired, aren't you Kendall?"

Kendall nodded, smiling and thanking the nurse for his consideration and everything he'd done.

"Where were we?" James said, scooting his chair closer to the bed and taking Kendall's smaller hand in his big ones.

"I was just wondering what _you _know about what happened. How did I get to the point where I had to get here? The stuff they take here isn't usually that dangerous is it? It's awful not remembering what happened." The blond said with a grimace. "It's really confusing to wake up in the nurse's office without any memory of why I'm here. Especially when you say I could have been fucking _drugged!"_ He was getting worked up at that, panic rising up his throat, feeling like scaly snakes tearing up his insides. "I mean, I could have been _raped _or something!"

James looked chagrined.

"Yeah… about that…" He saw terror taking over Kendall's face. "You weren't!" He assured quickly, not wanting his boyfriend to go into a full hyperventilation and panic attack.

"What do you mean then?" Kendall asked after he had let out a sigh of relief.

"Well… After we finished dancing you became really cold. Do you remember any of that?" James replied.

Kendall thought about it, and then nodded.

"So, I went to get you a jacket of some sort and I thought I'd take a shortcut to the cabin via building 5. That's when I came across two guys just standing there, not really knowing where to go. Apparently Mia," James was talking about the woman who worked evenings in admin. "Is ill, so when they arrived no-one was there to greet them or tell them where their cabin was. I guess I decided to help them out. I mean, there aren't that many cabins left, there are only two boys' cabins left and they're on our trail, so it had to be one of those." The brunet smiled. "You'll be so happy to hear the next part!" He exclaimed.

Kendall smiled slightly but scolded James anyway for going off topic.

"Just tell me!" Kendall answered.

"Fine!" James said, not fazed at all by Kendall's annoyance. "They said their names were Carlos and Logan!"

Kendall grinned, excited. The fact that his two best friends were close by made him momentarily forget what he was going through.

"But they weren't supposed to arrive until Monday!"

"Yeah, yeah, okay. Just let me just fill you in on the rest."

Kendall shut up obediently.

"So it took us a while to find Kelly and by then I was getting really worried about you, so I just left the guys with her, took the blankets and jacket and ran through the woods behind building five to get to the beach. But… on the way there I… tripped on something, _someone_. Two people, to be exact."

Kendall tilted his head to the side, slightly confused.

"What was someone doing behind there?" His facial expression was replaced by one of horror at a sudden thought. "It was me wasn't it?" He breathed. "I got really drunk when you were gone and took drugs and ran into the woods and _oh, God!_ It's so humiliating!" He wailed, placing his head in his hands. "It sounds like something I would do. Anything to fit in, right?"

James was doing his best to tell Kendall to listen to him.

"Kendall? Kay? Listen to me, please."

"And everyone must have thought I was so stupid! I must have been acting like such an idiot. Everybody must hate me now. I probably ruined the whole party! "

"Kendall that's not what happened!" James shouted, exasperated, finally stopping Kendall's monologue.

Kendall stopped, looking up at James with hopeful eyes. "It's not?"

He felt some relief at that, but if that wasn't what had happened then it had to have been something else, and dozens of scary date-rape drug situations entered his mind.

A grim expression was etched onto James' face as well, the thin line of his lips not soothing the hormonal blond in the least.

"No, Kendall, I just said there was more than one person there. You were with… George."

Kendall was still anxious and confused.

_I don't understand. _He thought. _I was lying in the woods, drunk, high and with _George_ of all people? What were we doing, making out? But wait, _His face paled. _Does that mean I cheated on James? But no! I couldn't! Oh, what have I _DONE?! Kendall's bottom lip started trembling and his heart felt like a stone. How could James still be here with him when he knew what Kendall had done? He wished for a second that the drugs had been bad and he wasn't alive just so that he wouldn't have to live with himself.

The older boy could see the new panic attack his words had caused and tried his best to keep it under control, leaning up so he could give Kendall a half-awkward hug from where he sat.

Kendall was crying now, silent sobs racking his body. He was such a horrible person, had hurt James so deeply, yet here they were, embracing each other.

"Hey," James said, rubbing Kendall's back.

"I'm s-so so-orry!" Kendall wailed, burying his face in the crook of the brunet's neck, enjoying the feeling of being close to James while it lasted. Surely he wouldn't want to be with Kendall ever again after this. He was just being nice because Kendall was "sick". Hungover, more like.

James stiffened at the words, pulling back and framing Kendall's face with his hands, running his thumb over the smaller boy's trembling bottom lip.

"Why are you sorry? You did nothing wrong!"


End file.
